Ratchet Madness 2025 Round 1: Irish Poverty Face Region
Ratchet Madness 2025 has finally arrived. Over the next 3-4 weeks we will be deciding who is the most ratchet of the 64 ratchet characters involved in the coverup of John O’Keefe’s murder. There are 4 regions:
- Irish Poverty Face Region
- Ham Sandwich Region
- Normal Moms Region
- Blue Paint Region
In each region there are 16 ratchets, seeded 1 through 16 based on overall ratchet behavior the last 3 years. However, you may determine that a lower seeded ratchet is actually more ratchet than a higher seeded ratchet and vote accordingly. That’s the fun of Ratchet Madness! Turtle riders will be voting in each of the 4 regions for which ratchets should advance in head to head matchups.
We will begin in the Irish Poverty Face region. You have 24 hours to vote on which ratchet should advance to the second round.
- Jennifer McCabe vs. 16. Kenny Berkowitz
1. Jennifer McCabe – Googled “hos long to die in cold at 2:27 and deleted it, started a support group for victim’s mother, lied to FBI while claiming to be normal Mom
16. Kenny Berkowitz – “Found” taillight a week after John O’Keefe died, had man crush on Higgy, asked reported to take down tweet mentioning Brian Albert for being “pillar of the community”
8. Jim Farris vs. 9. Liz Proctor
8. Jim Farris – Chain smokes outside D&E pizza, drives a Prius, acts as Chris Albert’s enforcer, charged with assaulting award winning journalist trying to eat a meal of food
9. Liz Proctor – Contacts employers of people who speak negatively about corrupt cop husband, made a fool of herself conducting interviews defending husband’s honor
4. Jill Daniels vs. 13. John Fanning
4. Jill Daniels – Resembles a couch that has been left out in the rain, charged with assaulting award winning journalist, doxxes herself using fake Twitter accounts, hates when turtle douche goes to Truro
13. John Fanning – Covered up the murder of Sandra Birchmore, tampered with the jury to have not guilty voter removed, claims he didn’t see Proctor messages because he was on vacation in North Carolina
5. Joseph Paul vs. 12. Jessica Hyde
5. Joseph Paul – Benched in Trial 2 after historically comical Trial 1 testimony, says the crime scene speaks to him, claims “it just did” is scientific explanation
12. Jessica Hyde – Paid shill who covered for Jennifer McCabe, attempted to relate to jury by talking about eating 10K calorie meal, never shuts up
3. Colin Albert vs. 14. Robert Cosgrove
3. Colin Albert – Testified that he is a complete poser who acts tough towards Advantage Boys but never been in a fight, was inside the house when John O’Keefe was murdered, breaks his fall on ice by bracing himself with knuckles
14. Robert Cosgrove – Geriatric government hack collecting 2 pensions and getting paid by the hour to declare war on First Amendment, tried and failed to have Turtleboy’s bail revoked twice and lost misdemeanor trial with Fake Victim
6. Twisted Tragedies vs. 11. Adam Lally
6. Twisted Tragedies – Former FKR scammer who suddenly turned anti-FKR after being called out for grifting, runs fraudulent GoFundMe’s, has a “show” where she chain smokes around free range feral children, complains that she should get government handouts over Hatian illegal immigrants she lives with at migrant Motel
11. Adam Lally – Cucked by Hank Brennan and shit on by Michael Morrissey for not being good enough in Trial 1, forced to play with paper clips on national TV, had no problem covering up murder of John O’Keefe as long as he gets to eat his cheese sandwich at the end of the day
7. Plevin vs. 10. Wendy Murphy
7. Plevin – Pretended to have terminal cancer to raise GoFundMe cash, believes the federal government conspired with Turtleboy and Karen Read to frame Michael Morrissey
10. Wendy Murphy – Spawned Grant Smith-Ellis, hasn’t worked as an attorney in years and makes no money, lives off of ex-husband’s alimony while spewing insane shit on Twitter all day
2. Michael Morrissey vs. 15. Nicole Albert
2. Michael Morrissey – Chose to prosecute an obviously innocent woman and unintentionally made himself the face of corruption to the world, made a hostage video defending murderers, got caught using a burner email, begged for $1 million from state legislature to continue doomed persecution of Karen Read
15. Nicole Albert – Clearly hates her life and compensates by cleaning, sounds like a human carton of Newport Lights, has the face of generations of Irish poverty
