Ratchet Madness 2025 Round 2: Ham Sandwich Region

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Voting is completed in the Irish Poverty Face Region and we have our first four ratchets who have advanced to the Sweet 16.

No upsets there, and quite the dominant performance by our reigning ratchet champ, Jennifer McCabe. She has a long way to go if she wants to defend her crown though, and the competition is getting harder and harder.

Now it’s time to vote for which 4 ratchets should join them in the Sweet 16 out of the Ham Sandwich Region. You have 24 hours to vote for who is more ratchet in each of these matchups.

1. Krusty Panties vs. 8. Tara Kerrigan

1. Krusty Panties – had her kids taken by the State but lectures FKR about being bad parents, convicted criminal still facing multiple charges, eats, breathes, and sleeps Turtleboy 24/7

8. Tara Kerrigan – Swim fan level obsession with dead guy she dated 20 years ago, wears John O’Keefe’s badge number on chain but completely ignores all evidence showing who murdered him

4. Kelly Dever vs. 5. Kerry Roberts

4. Kelly Dever – permanently stuck with resting bitch face, lied about having a false memory after being told to do the right thing BPD Commissioner, laid on the cuntiness heavy to help convince jurors she wasn’t believable

5. Kerry Roberts – admitted that she lied to grand jury about Karen Read’s statements, made a fool of herself on national television by showing everyone that she was easily manipulated by Jennifer McCabe

3. Bukkake vs. 6. Jud Welcher

3. Bukkake – came across as pompous douche on the stand, pretended not to speak English, spent 8-10 months traveling around the state harassing women over rubber ducks, testified that he was scared of Turtleboy after being called “Bukkake loser”

6. Jud Welcher – arrogant douchebag who got paid $400K to paint himself blue, testimony was so embarrassing that Hank Brennan didn’t call him back or reference his testing during closing

2. Brian Higgins vs. 7. John Depetro

2. Brian Higgins – decorated dude who calls into random YouTube shows pretending to be Kevin from South Boston in order to defend his honor, couldn’t seal the deal with a woman who was throwing herself at him, helped cover up his involvement in the murder of John O’Keefe by lying about butt dials and acting shady at Canton Police Department at 1:30 AM

7. John Depetro – called the cops on Turtleboy for interrupting his broadcast, butt buddy of the McAlberts and Hank Brennan who spent all day lying about juror reactions in court

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