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Admitting That You Read And Support Turtleboy Seems Like The Easiest Way To Get Out Of Jury Duty

 

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A turtle rider sent us a picture of the form his wife filled out which will probably get her excused from jury duty today.

If you read Turtleboy then you are a prosecutor’s wet dream. You know the extent that criminals will go to try to weasel their way out of trouble, you know how their mind’s work, and you’re smart enough to sift through nonsense their attorneys will throw at you. You are a defense attorney’s worst nightmare. So this would certainly seem to be the most effective way to get out of jury duty for sure.

At the same time, I would imagine it’s hard for two lawyers to compile a group of 12 citizens who don’t read Turtleboy. If you’re between the ages of 25-54 and live in Massachusetts, there’s a very good chance that you regularly read the blog.

As fun as getting out of jury duty can be, I kind of wish I could serve on a jury one day, just not in civil court.  I’ve been called for jury duty exactly once in my 37 years on earth, and I didn’t sniff a trial. We were brought into three courtrooms – 2 civil cases, and 1 criminal. The civil cases seemed dreadful and both involved car accidents. The criminal case was a rape trial in which a man, who appeared to be an African immigrant, was charged with raping a 16 or 17 year old girl in the Milford area. The judge asked the 80-100 jurors in the pool if they had any biases about teenage girls who party with much older men. I knew that every person in hat courtroom did, but no one wanted to be THAT guy.

In an act of stunning bravery I raised my placard, which led to a mass “I am Spartacus” moment amongst the other jurors. After that the judge asked all of the jurors if they had an opinion on grown men who buy liquor for and party with underage girls. I think every single hand in the courtroom went up including the bailiff and the defense attorney. Needless to say I was dismissed. I have no idea how they picked that jury, but I was told by an ADA that he was found guilty because he smiled during the victim’s testimony.

Looking back on that, it would’ve been a cool experience to serve on that jury. I’m perfectly capable of being unbiased and looking at the facts, especially in a case like that, given today’s #MeToo climate. I just didn’t want to have my life interrupted at the time, even though I was a teacher and it was summer vacation. Either way, I think it’s safe to say that as the publisher of Turtleboy Sports, the odds that I will ever have that chance are slim to none.

 

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