“Asian-American” Vegan Woman Bans Fitchburg Residents From Using “Chinese Auction” Because It’s Getting Asian People Killed


This is Elizabeth Gordon from Wilmington, North Carolina.

She’s a social justice warrior who must’ve lived in Fitchburg at some point, because she posts occasionally in the local Facebook cesspool known as “Discussing Fitchburg Now.” Today she woke up and decided that she was going to lecture local residents from 800 miles away about why they can’t use the term “Chinese Auction” any longer.


I’d never even heard of this term before, but clearly it’s a big problem, and I thank the good Lord that she brought this to my attention. Luckily we have white people in North Carolina who are willing to step up and be the official spokespeople for Asians and other racial groups who never asked them to do that in the first place.

We’ve all seen the videos of Asians getting beaten by mostly black people in Democratic controlled urban areas. But that’s only happening because white people in Fitchburg use terms like “Chinese auction.” Sure, you may have thought that you were referring to some sort of raffle-silent auction hybrid, but in reality you were being prejudiced towards 19th century railroad laborers and you’re getting Asian people killed. So cut the shit!

While we’re at it, can we please cancel Chinese Checkers too? That game was invented in Germany and wrongly associates Chinese people with wood and pegs. It has also gotten at least 5 Asian people killed in the last 2 weeks.

But why stop there? Swedish meatballs, French fries, Russian roulette, Dutch ovens, Belgian waffles, Swiss cheese, and Portuguese man o’ war are hereby cancelled as well. Dutch people in this country can’t walk down the street without being beaten up for the epidemic of flatulence in this country!

As usual the people leading the charge against this sort of ridiculous censorship were the people the woke white liberals were hoping to protect.

Have you ever met an Asian person Elizabeth? Nobody is less offended by anything than Asian people. It’s why they don’t cry when they beat your kids in every academic aspect of school.

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According to Elizabeth’s bio she’s Asian herself.

Born in Saigon? Excuse me Becky, it’s called Ho Chi Minh City. Have some respect for Vietnamese culture and stop appropriating your Western capitalist vocabulary on the proud communist government of Vietnam.

Elizabeth apparently is some sort of actress.

That sounds thrilling.

She was recently honored by the Wilmington Arts Council for being a “biracial Asian-American playwright.”

“Biracial Asian-American.”

Just because your Dad opened up a sweatshop to manufacture sneakers in Nam before the commies took over doesn’t mean you’re Asian-American.

You’ll notice that she’s also a vegan. And if you thought her lecturing you about what words you’re not allowed to use was obnoxious, just wait until you see her thoughts on milk, cheese, fish, and eggs.

Oh no, we stole milk from cows! What’s next? Separating dogs from their litter of puppies?

Also, don’t eat eggs because the egg factory might burn down.

And while you’re at it don’t wear socks, because there was once a fire in the sock factory.

Turkeys are also cancelled.

“I propose that wild turkeys should live their lives in the wild, without human interference, and die however they naturally die.”

  1. We have WAY too many turkeys around here, and they’re beginning to become a menace.
  2. “However they naturally die” means “eaten by a fox,” which is way better than eaten by a human.

For a woman who’s concerned a lot about negative stereotypes about Asians she sure doesn’t mind blaming coronavirus on Chinese people’s hunger for bats and dogs.

This post killed 19 Asian people in less than 24 hours.

She’s also an admitted murderer who killed a mouse in 1985.

Please, just snap their spines instead. Mice have feelings too.

She’s very concerned about the rights and feelings of vermin and wild animals, but she’s not so concerned about the well being of American children though, which is why she shares fear mongering and misleading propaganda designed to make people believe that opening up schools is dangerous for kids.

In reality kids don’t die from COVID, but they do die from suicide and other mental health related issues which spiked dramatically this year as a result of school closures. If only Elizabeth Gordon cared as much about that as she did about Chinese auctions. Sad.


Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 


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