Baby Clothing Section Brawl At Chicopee Walmart Featuring Game Of Tug-Of-Boriqua Was A Cultural Masterpiece

 

We’ve blogged about many an incident at Walmart before, and it would be interesting to see which Walmart has made the most appearances on TB Daily News. My money is on the Chicopee Walmart, which always seems to be making headlines. One thing you’re almost guaranteed to see while shopping there is copious amounts of fupa.

We’ve got another video to show you, which was shot over the weekend, and depicts some of 413’s best and brightest resolving their differences the Chicopee Walmart way.

How ironic that the people who should be first on the “do not reproduce” list are all shopping at the same time in the crotch fruit section of Walmart. Only one of them could be crowned Teen Mom Guttermuppet of the year, so there were many contenders for the crown.

It appears as if the one person to get any actual punches in was the one gentleman in Champion clothing, punching another gentleman in Champion clothing, until his victim scurried away and jumped in the fupa mosh pit that was forming adjacent to him.

There was however plenty of hair pulling, yelling in foreign languages, and a competitive game of Tug-of-Boriqua.

That hair pull is commonly known in these parts as the “Holyoke Helicopter,” and was executed to perfection in this case. That poor bear lying on top of a rack like it’s giving up completely on laugh is sadly a metaphor for the Chicopee Walmart.

The woman who worked there had right the right idea by radioing it in and not jumping in the middle of that.

Sickle Cellulite Sanchez was out of control, and there was no reason to catch a left hook from her when you’re making $11.50 an hour.

No Chicopee Walmart fight can officially end until someone shows up in their dress pajamas.

I’m sure this was all over something really important. My question is, who stole whose food stamps? And can I get them half price? Asking for a friend.

 

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Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonetization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the Donation button above if you'd like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy:  Qries
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