Dick pics are all the rage these days. However, if you are going to engage in the digital transmission of images of your genitals on social media platforms, you should probably make sure that it’s welcomed first.Matthew John from Litchfield, Maine needs to hear this more than anyone.
He recently friend requested a woman on Facebook and claimed to know her from around town. She responded to a message he sent, which to him meant one thing – green light for dick pics.
For future reference ladies, the correct answer is “No.” I do not want to see your fully aroused schmenzer. I have no interest in that whatsoever. Because guys like this will take “ummm” as, “please put it in my mouth immediately.” Be direct as possible and don’t be afraid to hurt their feelings. He won’t be upset, and he’ll just try with another woman two seconds later.
And for guys out there, I get the thrill of it all, I really do. I would imagine there’s something exciting about a woman being interested enough in seeing that which would make it worth the risk of Mark Zuckerberg selling data on your ding-a-ling to the Red Chinese. However, if you are going to do this you should always make sure, in no uncertain terms, that she tells you she wants to see it. “Ummm” is not yes. “Ummm” is, “I don’t know you, and I’m really shocked and not sure what to say right now.”
Turns out she wasn’t the only one who got a message like that on Sunday.
You’ll notice that his bio (before taking the page down ) says he owns a restaurant. What he really meant by that is, “my girlfriend who doesn’t know I’m sending out dick pics” owns a restaurant.
Which is really a shame, because she’s a looker.
If your boyfriend embarrasses you like this it’s one of the easiest excuses to leave imaginable. But skeevy dudes like him live a life of lies, so they almost always go with the “I was hacked” routine. The question is, would she be dumb enough to believe it? Answer –
Yes. Yes she would be. Because he pinky swore he dindu muffin.
He also deleted his Facebook account, which conveniently means that she can’t check his messages to see who he sent dick pics to, because the account doesn’t exist. She should know what his looks like, (unless she’s a Duggar) and could pick it out of a dick lineup, so maybe it was just a random womb broom sent from his account to a complete stranger’s. Conveniently for him that can no longer be verified, because he somehow got back into the account that someone else took control of and shut it down, rather than find out where the login took place.
The best lie is that he “contacted Facebook.” As someone who has lost close to 50 Facebook pages, and over half a million followers, I can assure you that there is no way to contact Facebook. They are an unreachable entity that controls the distribution of information around the world.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – no one believes you when you say that you’re hacked. It’s a default excuse that boomers believe because they don’t know any better. No one under the age of 40 should fall for it.
- If he was hacked he would have evidence. He would’ve contacted the woman who got the dick pics to apologize and clear his name.
- Hacked accounts steal information, they don’t send strange women dick pics.
- He’s been accused of this by other women.
So either take it or leave it Linze with Z. Your boyfriend has a thing for flogging the dolphin in his car and assumes random women he’s never met before will be turned on by that proposition. Either embrace it and enjoy that lifestyle or move on. Whatever you do, don’t publicly believe the “I was hacked” line, because everyone just feels bad for you now.
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