Media Fails

Barstool Dude Bro Kevin Clancy Is Upset That Kyle Rittenhouse Likes Women Despite Career Spent Publishing Blogs Called “Guess That Ass” 


This is Huffstool blogger Kevin “KFC” Clancy.

He went viral yesterday for calling Kyle Rittenhouse the “biggest loser” in a failed attempt to sound edgy while retweeting a video of Rittenhouse talking about losing his virginity.

First of all, I wish Rittenhouse wouldn’t do this, and I hope he doesn’t go full George Zimmerman. America liked humble Kyle Rittenhouse who protected his community and took out a child rapist and a domestic abuser. America doesn’t like cocky 18 year olds bragging about getting tail. I do worry that his newfound fame will go to his head, but it can’t be easy having this much spotlight thrust on you, which you never asked for.

With that said, this is hardly surprising at all. Kevin Clancy is arguably the least talented and uninteresting famous person in American history. He found an actual successful and talented person named Dave Portnoy in the infancy of Barstool Sports. Dave needed a New York blogger and this was the best he could find. He holds onto him out of pure loyalty, but not once has KFC ever done or said anything that has made anyone laugh or sparked an interesting conversation. He occasionally gets invited onto Kirk Minihane’s podcast when he says dumb things like “cancel culture isn’t real,” and then makes a complete fool of himself. He’s the ultimate dude bro, but 10 years ago being a dude bro was cool. Today it’s a hate crime, so he tries to pull a Howard Stern and overcompensate with takes like this.

If you really want a laugh though read this blog he wrote in June of 2020 during the BLM riots, about how he used to laugh at BLM, but now realizes they’re the most important civil rights group in American history. It’s the funniest thing I’ve ever read. It began when some bootleg Media Matters account posted a 2016 clip of Portnoy, KFC, and Big Cat making fun of Colin Kaepernick.

I don’t care, that’s funny. KFC thought it was funny too, which is why he laughed. All he really did was throw in stuff like this that wasn’t funny at all:

“That’s dumb, but he is first all team racial confusion.”

Left wing activists on social media don’t actually care about racism, and they aren’t offended by clips like this. They just want to see if they can get you to bow. And that’s exactly what Clancy did:

My latest trip into the Cancel Culture Blender is one I think is extremely important. Its actually one I’m proud of.

He’s proud of being forced into a public apology! Pat him on the head, he’s one of the good ones now!

I didn’t really know the extent of the police brutality/racial epidemic in this country. I knew about Eric Garner and Michael Brown but I didn’t know the extent of those tragedies and how deep the problem ran.

Michael Brown was killed while trying to take a gun form a police officer. Be a bigger cuck. You can’t.

And I didn’t understand the intentions and the power of protesting. I thought it was more a divisive act and I thought of protesting as an inconvenient, petulant display of complaining. Several years earlier I had made my bones clowning the Occupy Wall Street protesters who I thought were naive and unrealistic; or a slew of college student demonstrators who, in my opinion, were behaving in a childish way about their idealistic views on life. I stupidly lumped all that together under one umbrella of “protesting” and didn’t acknowledge how justified and dire Colin’s cause was. 

BLM protesters blockading highways are actually the same exact people who pitched tents on Wall Street, and their grievances are equally as stupid.

Then there was this masterpiece:

If you fast forward to 2020 and followed any of my social media or read any of my work regarding George Floyd and Breonna Taylor and Ahmaud Arbery and the Black Lives Matter protest, you saw me singing a very different tune. When Colin Kaepernick’s cause resurfaced following Drew Brees’ comments, you heard me singing a very different tune on the very same topic from that Rundown back in 2016. And thats what I’m proud of. That “After” picture. I am 100,000% OK with being the white guy who was uneducated and confused by Colin Kaepernick in 2016, day 1 of the protest news, and now fully on board with him with a full understanding of his movement in 2020. I am proof positive Colin Kaepernick’s protest worked. Proof positive his peaceful demonstration is one of the most, if not the most, successful Civil Rights protest of all time.

I’m so embarrassed for him reading that. It’s the cringiest and most pathetic thing ever written, and it’s what Huffstool Sports has become. KFC used to be a dumb white dude bro, but now he’s like a totally woke white dude bro. He now knows that Colin Kaepernick led the most successful civil rights protest of all time which led to him getting a Nike contract, exactly zero laws being passed, and perpetual victimhood by being kept out of the NFL due to a lack of talent.

I was a dumb white guy stumbling through all the do’s and don’t of that shit thinking you had to look a certain way or have a certain background to be speaking out for a certain cause. Thinking that you had to be “black enough” to say innocent people shouldn’t be murdered is just asinine. And last but not least, I was confused about his motivations – not realizing that it had nothing to do with hating America but more a peaceful and effective way to shine the light on this one, specific, tragic piece of America that has run unchecked. I’m the “wokest” I’ve ever been in my life now in 2020. 

You’re still a dumb white guy, but now you’re also a cuck who was brought to his knees by something called “Resist Programming,” and coerced into embarrassing himself.

I can confidently say I’m the most educated I’ve ever been, I’m the most empathetic I’ve ever been, I’m the most humble I’ve ever been, and I’m the most aware I’ve ever been.

I’ve seen ISIS confession videos that were more authentic than this.

In a perfect world, we’d all be as selfless and have as much perspective as Kaep and any of the Civil Rights leaders, but we live in the real world. The world which Kaep was, and still is, trying to change by reaching people the exact way he reached me. He’s not gonna convert any of the extremists of the world who are racist, hateful bigots. But he could, and did, reach a guy like me who was uneducated to a fault. Who was ignorant enough to the ways of the world to the point that he didnt even realize that his knee jerk reaction was a shitty and stupid one.

The fact that Dave kept this guy on staff after publishing this word diarrhea shows just how little he’s actually attached to the content that comes out of his website. Kaepernick has no perspective. He doesn’t talk. He didn’t care about BLM until his girlfriend told him to and he was no longer a starter. He didn’t mention any of this at the Super Bowl in 2013. He said cops are all slave catchers and just made a documentary comparing the NFL combine to a slave auction. You’d have to be the dumbest person in the world to think Kaepernick is a smart person, and that’s exactly what Kevin Clancy is.

He just kept going.

I wish MORE people would talk about this type of Before and After. Shine a light on me, folks. I think this is a success story. I know the Cancel Mob would be thrilled to just get rid of everybody like me, but I think its much more reasonable, realistic, and productive to embrace people like me. The PC mob, and their viewpoints on the political, social, and comedic opinions of other people, is the only setting where the “Before” matters more than the “After.”

Its pretty embarrassing that it took up until George Floyd for me, and many others, to finally get it. To finally understand. But I’d be way more embarrassed if I was one of the people who didnt get there at all. If you’re making the type of comments I did back then, today in 2020, then raise your hand and I’ll have Tommy Boy here come back there and hit you in the head with a tack hammer because you’re a RE..ALLY STUPID ASSHOLE. Not gonna cancel me a 4th time, fuckers!

I’ve never seen someone raise their hand and beg the PC mob for mercy like this before. “Please embrace me Resist Programming, I’m good now!”

He ended up getting ratioed and roasted, and because he’s a simple minded idiot he followed that up with this:

You work for Huffstool Sports, a website that became popular largely on a blog series called “Guess That Ass,” in which they show you a picture of a nice ass, and you guess which woman’s ass it is. Here’s one that you wrote in 2015.

Your boss, who people still like because he doesn’t apologize to the mob, is also notorious for having sex with women 20 years younger than him.

But yea, it’s really “weird and uncomfortable” for Kyle Rittenhouse to be into the same sort of thing that the company you work for was built on.

Of course he doesn’t actually think it’s weird and uncomfortable. He’s just trying to find a way to condemn this because he thinks he has to, and those are the best words he could come up with. He’s not even woke, he’s just stupid. Very, very stupid.



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Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonetization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the Donation button above if you'd like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy:  Qries