Charlie Baker’s Mask Mandate At Gyms Forces You To Drink Your Own Sweat, Struggle To Breath In Order To Solve Non-Existent Problem Of COVID Transmission


The gym gives people a necessary mental break and is good for you physically for a variety of reasons. Just 0.06% of COVID transmissions occur in gyms, so there’s no reason to close or regulate them more than they are now. But because Charlie Baker is petrified of liberals demanding he “do something” about the rising COVID case count, he mandated that people doing cardio at the gym must wear masks. Prior to that you just had to wear them when you were lifting weights. Since no one is within 6 feet of you on treadmills this is completely unnecessary, but they did it anyway.

Yesterday I was at Planet Fitness, judgment free zone, because if I didn’t exercise I would become a fat slug  and a COVID wet dream. I have to wear the mask now and by the end of every workout it’s just a soaking wet piece of cloth. Sweat weighs down the mask so it constantly falls below your nose and you have to adjust it. On top of that I can literally feel my breath going out the sides of the mask now instead of in front of me, which goes directly towards other people on the side. All this is doing is increasing the spread and forcing people to drink their sweat, which I guess is following the science.

Anyway, the mask Nazis at Planet Fitness come around and make sure you have your mask on at all times. About once a day they come over and tell me to pick mine up after I take a drink of water or try to wipe sweat off my face. In order to make sure the mask stays on I do this thing where I bend the top of it and cover my nostrils while folding the bottom up resting it on my chin. It worked fine until yesterday when they came over and told me that I was identified as a problem and they’d be cancelling my membership if my mask fell again. So I took a quick video to show the world how ridiculous, unsanitary, unnecessary, and unhealthy this stupid fucking mask rule is.

This is what people have to do at the gym now in the name of public health. Notice the mask is so drenched with sweat that it can’t stay up without constantly touching it.

You can see the mask inflating and delating like a blowfish every time you breath as the carbon dioxide goes back into your mouth. You can barely breath as you are waterboarding yourself with your own sweat.

The problem is that I need Planet Fitness more than they need me. It’s too cold and dark to run, so it’s either I go to the gym or I turn into a lardo. I have no choice but to play by Charlie Baker’s rules, but he should see what this looks like in action, because he’s clearly never tried this before.

Anyway, I’m not a doctor or a governor so what the hell do I know? But it seems like telling people to drink their own sweat in order to solve a problem that doesn’t exist at gyms isn’t going to save lives.


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