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Criminal Masterminds Kidnap Woman For An Hour Who Unwisely Let Them Smoke Cigarette Inside Her Car Outside Of Webster Dollar Store

 

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Last week the Dudley Police arrested Jessie Thibodeau and Nichole Murphy kidnapping, larceny, assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, and armed robbery. And in doing so showed the public why it’s almost always a bad idea to help people who appear to be in need.

Sweet Grandma Moses.

If Elsa had a junkie brother with a runny nose.

Pro tip – if two people who look like they just rose from the dead approach your car in the Dollar Store parking lot in Webster and ask you for permission to smoke a cigarette in your car because they’re homeless, you’re probably about to be kidnapped. I’m not trying to victim blame here, I’m just pointing out undeniable scientific facts.

I know, I know, it’s not their fault – they have the “disease” that makes you kidnap people and drive them around Dudley and Webster for an hour. Personally, I liked her more as a hippie.

That is your brain on weed.

This is your brain on Diego’s new testers.

He’s seen better days too, although he always had that look that he was capable of going full ratchet at any moment.

Of course these two criminal masterminds not only asked to get dropped off near their house where they walked through the snow instead of sticking to the street and not leaving a trail, they also took her cell phone which made it much easier to ping their location. And all for a whopping $20. Smart move.

Anyway, there are lots of charities  you can donate to if you’re inclined to help people in need. However, generally people are “homeless” for a reason, and anyone who asks a stranger for permission to smoke a cigarette inside of their car is probably going to kidnap you with an imaginary gun. So the moral of the story is, never try to help the homeless because they didn’t end up that way on accident. The end.

 

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