Democratic Debate Round 63 Live Blog


11:19 – Joe Biden ends the debate with something he’s never once exhibited this entire campaign – energy. Very awkward moment. Like when my grandfather found out I was stealing his quarters. But still, energy. Good night and thank you for joining me this evening. Out.


11:17 – I feel like no one knew this debate was happening tonight because all these people care about is impeachment. An impeachment that will happen, but ultimately will lead to nothing because the Senate won’t convict him.


11:12 – Who “won” the debate tonight? First answer as always is Donald Trump. But I think it’s clear Mayor Pete is the guy.


11:08 – “Our kids are not alright.” – Andrew Yang.

I dunno, my kids are pretty good. Just read them a book and teach them math and they’ll be all set. The kids who aren’t alright got that way because of ratchet parenting. How come no candidate ever talks about the epidemic of ratchet parenting?


11:05 – “I know that Washington DC has been purchased by corporations.” – Tom Steyer.

You literally bought your way onto this stage and are attempting to buy your way into Washington. You ran a corporation to get here.


11:03 – “Please help.” –  Cory Booker.

Sounds like a man who has a lot of confidence in this campaign moving forward.


11:01 – Not having Julian Castro on the stage tonight was clearly a big loss.


10:59 – Mayor Pete is the only candidate that can go head to head with Tulsi and arguably win. This is a good little rivalry they’ve got going here.


10:58 – Honestly, I wouldn’t mind sending the army into Mexico to destroy the cartel. Mexico’s lawlessness is the biggest factor contributing to illegal immigration.


10:55 – Gerrymandering is a huge problem, I agree. But do they not realize that it goes both ways? Why are Brookline and Fall River in the same district? Northampton and Worcester? Charlton and North Adams? Framingham and Lynn? Our state is chopped up in a way that no Republican could EVER come close to winning a congressional election.


10:53 – I see they’re still whining about Stacy Abrams losing a fair election. There’s no such thing as voter suppression. Fakest outrage since the gender wage gap.


10:52 – Maddow is asking a good question – is there room for pro-life or anti-abortion democrats in the democratic party? Pocahontas refuses to answer it because she knows the answer is No. The only democrats who can get elected to office if they’re pro-choice are southern democrats running in state elections.


10:50 – “Over 90% of Americans support funding Planned Parenthood.” – Amy Klobuchar.

Gonna need a fact check on that one. Also, Planned Parenthood regularly has ads on our website. They have plenty of money. Regardless of your thoughts on abortion it’s absurd that we pay for this when they clearly are rolling in cash.


10:46 – Yes, that’s right – Joe Biden just said that only African-American woman has ever been elected to the Senate while standing directly next to Kamala Harris. If that isn’t peak Joe Biden I don’t know what is. Then again, she’s not African-American, so he’s kind of right.


10:45 – “Blafrican American.” – Joe Biden


10:44 – “There are people in jail right now for smoking weed while members of congress admit to smoking weed.” – Cory Booker

Her name is Kamala Harris. At least Tulsi had the balls to say it. She got called a Russian plant for doing so.


10:43 – Cory Booker and other democrats besides Biden are right about legalizing marijuana. It’s such a winner issue for them that I’m shocked they don’t talk about it more.


10:42 – “When I found out people were being put in cages I went down to the border….” – Pocahontas.

Funny, because it was going on for years before Trump became President and you didn’t seem to give a shit.


10:41 – Elizabeth Warren just said that she’d use taxpayer money to tear down existing parts of the wall. But yea, they totally don’t want open borders.


10:40 – Why do white liberals treat black people like they’re pets that need white people to take care of them? Seems kind of racist. Just sayin.


10:36 – This debate has been extremely boring. The questions suck and aren’t nearly pointed enough. Shocking, because I figured Maddow would really wanna go after these people.


10:35 – It is kind of funny how Mayor Pete seems to be so bad with black people. I’ve been to South Bend many times. Outside of Notre Dame everyone I’ve seen is black. These are the people who elected him.


10:32 – Now they’re talking about #MeToo. How do they feel about members of congress combing the hair of their intern lovers while nude? I was told it’s sexist to even discuss this issue.


10:30 – “We have to treat each other with respect.” – Tulsi Gabbard.

Sorry Tulsi, your party called Kavanaugh a gang rapist, went through his yearbook, and then destroyed some high school kids for smiling. Not gonna happen.


10:28 – Oh good, race in America. This should be fun.


10:25 – Kamala Harris is ripping ass right now.


10:23 – Every question is basically a yes-no question, and no one ever says yes or no. This is why politics is so boring to so many people. Just answer the question.


10:20 – Saudi Arabia does treat women like third class citizens, Bernie is right. What religion was it again that dictates policy over there? I forget.


10:17 – What if they just took illegal immigrant kids in detention centers and gave them books? Then we could call them kids in pages and everyone would like it.


10:15 – Real question for Andrew Yang – if you won, would you wear a tie to your inauguration? If he banned ties for men as standard formal wear he’d have my vote. There’s absolutely no reason for men to wear suits to anything except weddings and proms.


10:13 – “I voted against the first Gulf War.” – Bernie Sanders. I was in 2nd grade when that war happened. The fact that Bernie was in the same place he is now as he was back then is why Washington is a swamp.


10:07 – Which commentator has the balls to ask the candidates if they think Jeffrey Epstein killed himself?


10:06 – “I want to save the world.” – Tom Steyer. He is the absolute worst. Just so phony, and it’s amazing none of these people go after him.


10:05 – OMG. Joe Biden cannot talk. It’s painful to listen to him attempt to speak. I know what he’s trying to say and I almost want to say it for him.


10:04 – In the imaginary Tom Steyer presidency he’d call for a national emergency on climate change on day 1. What does that even mean?


10:02 – Tulsi on climate change – “I want clean water.” She’s really a lot more interesting when they get her going on Hillary Clinton.


10:00 – Democratic debates aren’t fun unless they’re talking about the craziest shit the left backs. Transgender issues and racism are where they lose most Americans. Hope to see them talk about that more in the second half. No one gives a shit about farm subsidies.


9:54 – Hate to say it but the winner right now is Mayor Pete. The more they talk the more it becomes clear that he’s not only the smartest one on the stage, he’s the one that’s most built for politics. He still sucks, but facts are facts.


9:52 – “We should have free college so we can end up like (checks notes) Mexico and Slovenia.”


9:49 – “People are not having children in their 20’s, they’re having children in their 30’s.” – Kamala Harris. I can see she’s never been to Lawrence. But in all seriousness, that’s a good thing. It means people are being responsible before they reproduce.


9:46 – Paid leave for men is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. I blog on days my crotch fruits are born. If I was teaching I’d be back to school in a day or two. Men don’t have to give birth. Get back to work. I feel as strongly about this as I do about sharks.


9:42 – “The next person who’s President should…..anyway.” – Joe Biden. Is he even going to make it to November 2020?


9:40 – Does anyone actually care about Ukraine? I mean REALLY care. If I were a democrat I’d probably make a big deal about it too, not because I cared, but because it would be a good excuse to try to get rid of him. Just be honest about it. No one actually cares about phone calls with Ukraine. Most probably had no idea that we give out foreign aid to every country but get none back in return.


9:38 – Kind of shocked that the media just presented Trump’s Twitter account as a good thing. Don’t ask Kamala about that, her biggest campaign issue is getting him kicked off the platform.


9:36 – Amy Klobuchar is the only person on this stage right now that can win Minnesota. Trust me on this one – Trump is going to flip Minnesota.


9:34 – Here’s the thing with Mayor Pete. Part of me thinks he’s dangerous because he’s the most like Obama – composed, well spoken, young, interesting. But, even in 2019, the fact that he’s gay will hurt him. It just will. Especially in black communities, which just haven’t come around the way other communities have. That’s why he polls the worst against Trump.


9:33 – I love how whenever Andrew Yang speaks no one has any idea what he’s talking about. At least he’s interesting.


9:30 – It’s 9:30 and Andrew Yang hasn’t even been called yet. Seems fair.


9:29 – As much as I hate Kamala Harris, I think I hate Tom Steyer more than anyone on this stage. It’s amazing no one else calls him out for being the embodiment of everything the left is supposed to stand against. He literally bought his way onto this stage, and the amount of money he’s blown on this joke of a campaign could fix water in Flint, or whatever talking point democrats have been railing about for the last 5 years.


9:26 – Kamala Harris is so angry right now. She hates Tulsi with every ounce of her being. She knows that Tulsi murdered her campaign. Kamala was the top dog in July. She’s at 1% now because Tulsi called her out about smoking weed.


9:25 – Tulsi looks phenomonal as usual. Every single person on that stage hates her. I don’t care that I probably disagree with her on 95% of issues. She’s ballsier than most Republicans.


9:23 – “Don’t allow people to choose. Allow people to choose.” – Joe Biden. He just can’t help himself.


9:20 – Imagine buying a la carte lunch in middle school or bringing lunch from home. That’s private health insurance. Now imagine the welfare free lunch. That’s Medicare for all. No thanks.


9:18 – A poll today out of Wisconsin showed Trump +9 over Buttigieg and +5 over Pocahontas. If either of them get the nomination that state won’t be in play, and Michigan and Pennsylvania will be in the bag too. So by all means, nominate one of them please.


9:15 – I forgot Cory Booker was still running for President. The question is, why?


9:10 – In all seriousness, Joe Biden is so, so old. He looks worse every day. I can’t imagine someone like this running the country.


9:09 – Joe Biden should exclusively be asked questions about Corn Pop. I’ve never seen him more on point than retelling a 60 year old story about shaking down the biggest gangsta in Wilmington.


9:06 – Bernie: “We’re facing the greatest crisis of our time in climate change.” And they’re fighting that by doing nothing and putting all their chips in on impeachment. Almost like it’s not a crisis.


9:05 – “Bombshell testimony.” He literally said today that he never actually spoke with Trump about any of this stuff. There is no difference between Rachel Maddow and Alex Jones.


9:03 – It’s truly amazing how people on different teams can completely view the Mueller Report and these impeachment hearings so differently. In the mind of pretty much every person on this stage tonight impeachment is a done deal. None of the testimony even matters. They made their decision on November 9, 2016.


9:02 – Impeachment hearings almost made me forget there’s an actual election coming up. What’s the point of even having an election if they’re just planning on removing him anyway?


Yet another democratic debate starts at 9 PM and as usual I’ll be doing a live play by play with a live blog that you can keep up with by refreshing every couple minutes for a new hot take. Last time they had one of these Elizabeth Warren was the clear front runner, but since then Mayor Pete has gained a lot of momentum and now leads in Iowa and is close in New Hampshire. The only question that I have going into tonight is, how hot is Tulsi going to be looking tonight, and when will she leave her husband for me?




Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:

Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonetization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the Donation button above if you'd like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy:  Qries

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *