This is Mikayla Maia from Enfield, CT.
If her name sounds familiar it might be because she was one of those 16 year olds in the news for being reported “missing” every time she would run off to get stuffed by whatever 25 year old won her in a card game that week.
Her Dad, who was fired as a corrections officer for using excessive force on an inmate, ended up going to jail for 18 months in 2017 after he kicked the shit out of some guy who drove her home, hit him with a gun, and then choked her out after she pepper sprayed him.
Now she’s an adult though, and she’s got a number of Google trophies from a number of towns in her closet, most of which involve substance abuse, driving illegally, and trespassing.
Today the Enfield Police posted her face on their Facebook page as part of their ongoing “Warrant Wednesday” series.
In an unusual turn of events the Creamy Enfield Enchilada was one of the first people to respond.
That’s how unserious our criminal justice system is. Ratchets can taunt the cops underneath their own mugshots on Facebook because they know that warrants don’t really matter.
She now lives in Florida, and swears she’s sober.
And she moved in with this guy.
A lot of words come to mind when I see that guy – meth, flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hats, visine, bad credit – but sober is not one of them. His name is Richie Uraco, and these two lovebirds are going to live happily ever after in Florida.
If you’ve ever referred to your relationship with your spouse as, “my mans and me against the world,” you definitely could hook me up with crack rock in the next 30 minutes. That’s just science.
Itchy Richie is certainly an improvement over the “scam ass n words” she used to roll with.
That’s for sure. Except there’s just one problem…..
He’s got that “disease” that makes you forge checks in order to pay for Diego the friendly neighborhood drug dealer’s kids to go to college.
I’m sure their relationship will blossom in Florida, where nothing ever goes wrong and two recovering junkies can start a life together without any distractions. If Mikayla would like to come on the Live Show this weekend (remotely of course, wouldn’t want to get picked up on warrants), she’s more than welcome to message me on Facebook at Clarence Woods Emerson, or email [email protected].
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: