This is Jayquan Hemingway from Hartford.
Back in May he killed a man while driving drunk and thought it was hilarious that he couldn’t stop laughing during his mugshot.
After his arrest he took to Facebook to brag about how he wasn’t laughing about the fact that he just killed a man, the officers were just cracking jokes.
And now he wants a cookie for “standing there like a man,” as if he has any sort of choice.
Meanwhile the ratchet patrol was giving him a cookie for not running from the scene of the crime.
Because the cops never would’ve found him if he ran from the scene of a murder and left behind a car with a license plate tied directly to him. Very big of him. 100 emojis all around.
But we can rest assured because his drinking and driving days are out the window now.
One fatality, everyone knows the rules.
I was sent this story six months ago and the family of the victim was quite upset. I didn’t have time to get around to doing it, but today was a slow day so I went to check out his Facebook page to see if he was still pretending to be remorseful.
Nope. Getting high, pouring drinks, and planning out Christmas with his crotch fruit. He’s not in jail yet, but he should forever be on Turtleboy for being such a horrible, disgusting human being.
Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: