We discussed this story on the Live Show and interviewed Tia Bankss, girlfriend of the deceased (30:50).
This is Elijah Melendez from Holyoke.
He’s your run of the mill Holyoke hoodbooger whose Facebook page is mainly filled with him and his homies throwing up gang signs at the gravesite of the latest soljah to be featured on an RIP t-shirt.
His crew looks like the kind of folk you see swimming, barbecuing, and blasting their favorite Latin music (where every song is the same and sounds like it should be coming out of a pimped out 08 Honda Civic) at the Quabbin Reservoir. You know they’re gonna leave trash behind, you know they’re not supposed to be there, you know your tax dollars are financing this, but it’s just not worth your time to alert the authorities.
He goes by DSG Harrysworld on Facebook, and most of the pictures of him are from prison visitation days.
So obviously he’s on track to be an astronaut.
A couple weeks ago he shared a missing poster for 18 year old Elis Vizzcarrondo, also from Holyoke, wishing him the best.
If you’re an aspiring gangsta from the 413 and you go missing for a couple days, it’s really only a matter of time until your body ends up floating ashore on the Connecticut River. The official baptism of the Holyoke hoodbooger. That’s exactly what happened on July 3 when Elis’ body was found, but it turns out the killer was Hennessy Williams himself:
A Holyoke man is facing charges after a murder victim’s body was found earlier this month in the Connecticut River. Jim Leydon, spokesperson for the Hampden District Attorney’s Office, said that Chicopee Police contacted State Police detectives assigned to the D.A.’s office on the morning of Sunday, July 3 after a man’s body was found in the Connecticut River near Catherine Street. A preliminary investigation was conducted by officers on-scene and once the man’s body was recovered, it appeared that the man may have sustained a gunshot wound. A Holyoke police officer arrived on-scene a short time later and provided information about a missing 18-year-old Holyoke man. Investigators were able to identify the victim as 18-year-old Elis Vizzcarrondo of Holyoke. Detectives learned that Vizzcarrondo’s murder took place at a residence on Clemente Street in Holyoke and information led them to apply for and be granted an arrest warrant for Elijah Melendez, 21, of Holyoke. Melendez was arrested on Thursday, July 14 by local and state authorities. He was arraigned a murder charge on Monday in Holyoke District Court and is being held without the right to bail.
He also responded to the dead guy’s aunt, saying that he hoped he was fine, and that everyone needed to think positive.
“Hopefully he fine but he be all over the place popping up randomly on people dats (that’s) why we don’t know how (who) he was last with.”
Basically he was trying to put in people’s minds the idea that Elis moves around so much that anyone could be a suspect, and that whoever was last seen with him was the killer. Turns out it was him.
In the comments a woman who goes by Star Lee commented that her “baby man” needed to be found, suggesting that he was her significant other.
It’s unclear what her real name is (although her Facebook account’s URL says Alanna Jade), but I think it’s safe to assume that despite being pregnant and already having at least two raw dog trophies, she’ll never have to spend a dime on father’s day.
Meat Curtains Moses was making it clear that the dead guy fancied her taco tunnel the most, therefore she should be the primary recipient of thoughts and prayers. To that end she began sharing some of their most priceless memories from the courtship, which mostly involved smoking blunts in cars, tub noodz, and her ghetto Prince Charming flashing stacks of cash and unregistered guns.
I can’t believe this guy didn’t live to see 20.
Usually people with a proclivity for gun play, whose biggest accomplishment was showing the world how much money they made on drug sales, end up starting their own software companies. Nobody could’ve ever seen Pistol Pedro end up in the Connecticut River.
According to Meat Curtains Moses she was knocked up by Pistol Pedro, who was in line to be the next baby daddy in a long line of baby daddies to come.
She was very territorial over her grieving rights to the dead guy, and seemed rather defensive about it.
It turns out her defensiveness was because there was another skag queen who was claiming ownership of the grieving rights. A woman who goes by Tia Banks also was posting priceless memories of her time with Pistol Pedro.
Senorita Super Stroker might not have been carrying his baby at the time he was murdered, but she did have several advantages over Meat Curtains Moses. For instance, he preferred her mac and cheese fr, and used the pet name “lil slut.”
She got a Valentine’s Day car from him in 8th grade.
They got matching tattoos.
She had receipts.
And she knew how much he loved his OJ.
On top of that she also seemed to have the approval of his ma dukes, Maria.
Obviously she did a splendid job raising her son and instilling family values.
But Senorita Super Stroker knew that Pistol Pedro could never be a one ho man, and inevitably would stray.
So she wasn’t sweating it that he knocked up Meat Flaps Moses.
Their rivalry went back weeks before he was found dead, and neither seemed to mind that they were both basically a side piece.
Meat Flaps Moses’ supporters alleged that Senorita Super Stroker was Holyoke’s biggest hoe.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s slow down there a minute. Being crowned Holyoke’s Biggest Hoe is a title that’s earned, and shouldn’t be thrown around so lightly.
Things got crazier when a screenshot emerged showing Meat Flaps Moses tagging the killer on her Facebook page, and the killer bragged about riding around with the dead guy every day, “beefing with dem kids,” and “getting dat money.”
Soon allegations were being made that Pistol Pedro was set up by Meat Flaps Moses because she wouldn’t abort his poon polyp.
It was unclear who was the last side piece to be in contact with him. Senorita Super Stroker claimed that Pistol Pedro only impregnated Meat Flaps Moses because she turned him down, and that her nickname to “the gang” was “the worker.”
So yea, Elis is dead, but he obviously lived a fulfilling life. You haven’t left your mark on the world if 2 Holyoke snatch roosters aren’t arguing over who was the last one to get stuffed by you after you got mercked by a guy who’s pretending to look for you on Facebook.