Last night’s Live Show was the comic relief we all needed. Sure, we talked about coronavirus, but what people really wanted to discuss was Bristol Blarney’s new show. Yes, that’s right – the woman who gave away two of her kids, had all 4 taken by DCF at one point, and thinks she has the right to shit on other people for being bad parents, is back making videos. It’s no longer called Bristol Crew, but instead has been rebranded as Masshole Report. Ya got that? They stole someone else’s name and added Report at the end of it. Almost as if she’s completely incapable of creating anything original on her own.
Except there’s just one problem – South Shore Justin, the only person on the show with any sort of talent, didn’t want to be part of the train wreck any longer. Good for him. Instead they brought in as a cohost a guy who I had on a couple times, but who fell asleep during two live shows and has since been banned from coming back.
AKA Matty Pervier.
AKA Bootleg Bret.
AKA Judas Mo.
This is what Kate is left with – my rejects. Just to be clear, she built nothing on her own. She has a following because I gave her one. She tried and failed at YouTube and blogging before and it never caught on because she’s not funny or interesting. And although you may find this petty or boring, I will never, ever stop calling out frauds like her. So feel free to skip the blogs on her if you have no interest.
I know I probably shouldn’t give them attention because they’re irrelevant and will die a slow death if I ignore them. But it was just so hilariously bad I couldn’t resist the urge. I needed the laugh.
It began with Kate “coming clean” about her past, because she knew that I intended on blogging about it on Monday once her harassment order was thrown out in court. Except she didn’t really come clean about anything, and lied through her teeth to her cult followers. She put on one of the worst fake crying performances of all time, while pretending to show actual human emotion about giving away two toddlers. The fact that she couldn’t even be authentic in that moment speaks volumes.
But of course she got a round of applause from Judas Mo, Ashley Azevedo and the rest of her cult members.
A round of applause for talking about how she gave away two toddlers who called her Mommy.
The show besides that is a cringey spinoff of Turtleboy. Every single character they obsess over (Bucket Boy, Josh Abrams, Anselmo) was originally featured by a blogger not named Kate Peter on Turtleboy. They did a 20 minute segment called, “You might be a ratchet if,” and it was quite possibly the least funny thing you’ve ever seen in your life, which sure didn’t stop them from forced laughter. Might as well have been called, “let’s say things that poor people do and pretend to laugh at it.” Keep in mind, although I don’t own the word “ratchet,” we have a tournament called rachet madness, and it’s a word that most people associate with the blog. They can’t even come up with anything original for content. It’s all Turtleboy.
Then to make matters even more pathetic they announced that they’re going live on the same exact nights that I do – Tuesday and Thursday. So we stuck around to see Edwin “Takizawa” Salazar, Mike Hilario, Mitch, and crotch fruit donation Mom talk about Tom Brady and make awkward jokes that they pretended were funny.
The best part of the night was watching turtle riders invade their comments section with turtle emojis.
Watching them try to delete them all was so satisfying, I won’t lie. Yet they won’t have me on their show because they’re afraid to have someone actually call out their cult leader publicly. You can actually hear Kate at the 28:22 mark saying, “oh f***” when she sees that she can’t hide from the truth.
Stay tuned for Part 3, coming soon.
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