Ratchet Madness 2022 Round 1: Biblow Region



Here are your 8 ratchets who have advanced to the second round of Turtleboy Ratchet Madness in the Biblow region.

That was pretty anti-climactic. So far we’ve only had 1 matchup so far where one of the ratchets won with less than 50% of the vote. Let’s see if there are any nailbiters in the Didi Region. We’ve


1. Giannetti vs. 16. Meatball Morales and Munchkin Martinez

1. Giannetti

  • Filmed himself sticking a knife to his own throat and pretended he was being held hostage and coerced into admitting that he was a rapist so that he could use that video in court
  • Admitted in a video that he raped a girl who didn’t wanna have sex with him, and said “some girls play like that”
  • Ran to court to get a restraining order against Turtleboy despite making dozens of videos threatening to kill me
  • Claimed in court that it’s OK to threaten to kill someone as long as you’re rapping
  • Had to be redirected by the Judge dozens of times while attempting to explain why he feared for his life
  • Claimed in court that I was going to kidnap his son and turn him into a transgender baby
  • Repeatedly was directed by the second judge at the hearing to ask me a question while he rambled on incoherently
  • Accidentally live streamed him and his baby momma as they attempted to get McDonalds high out of their minds
  • Live stream revealed that they see their kid for an hour a day, wake it up at 10:30 to eat chicken nuggets covered in crack residue, she knows how to get people’s garage codes on her door dash route, they use EBT fraud to buy daily $15 cigarette packs, she’s a little bit racist, he’s frightened of her, and they’re both into fentanyl
  • Got emasculated by his baby momma who has to work all day to provide for him
  • Filmed himself smoking crack around her, which she was worried about because she’d have dirty urine
  • Accused his baby momma of spending all his back to school money


16. Meatball Morales and Munchkin Martinez

  • Dispute over who cut who in a Dippin Donts ice crem booth at Six Flags lead to all out brawl between one man and a family of ratchets
  • Fupa and ass cracks were flying all over the place as the entire family tried and failed to beat up one man
  • Children looked on and watched what was clearly a routine occurrence for them when they go out in public




8. Westerly Wank Wizard vs. 9. Gums and Roses

8. Westerly Wank Wizard

  • Has been arrested for dozens of crimes in nearly half the municipalities in Rhode Island
  • Has had warrants on her 12 times and has been evicted from multiple domiciles
  • Her daughter was born addicted because she got high while she was pregnant and needed 6 weeks in the NICU
  • Was arrested in April when she got into a horrific crash while drunk driving with her daughter in the car
  • Within hours of the crash she had already raised $5,500 with GoFundMe
  • Defense was that the crackpipe in her car was only used to smoke crack
  • Baby Daddy is also a junkie with a plethora of Google trophies who unsuccessfully tried to message us threats of deformation in broken English
  • Went on Instagram and called me a faggot while citing Ashley St. Angelo as a source to discredit Turtleboy


9. Gums and Roses

  • Homeless and unemployed but can’t stop making babies with perpetually unemployed, able bodied man who impregnated her
  • We blog about her annually around Christmas when she uses her kids as bait to post a sob story in a community Facebook group that will get her donations that she then resells on other  community Facebook pages
  • All family photos with the kids seem to be in DCF visitor rooms
  • Newest baby randomly was in the hospital over the summer using her taxpayer funded healthcare after he mysteriously found his face covered in bruises as a result of a freak baby carriage collapse
  • Can’t take kids to doctor’s appointments because she doesn’t have a car and has no money for bus fare
  • This year she got greedier than other years, asking strangers for more gifts and asking “What about everything else I just wanted?”
  • Wish list included toiletries, hygiene products, cleaning supplies, children’s clothes, pullups, shoes, clothes for her, frozen food,  fridge food, stove food, microwave food, microwaves, canned goods, drinks, toys, books, tablets, TV’s, phones, laptops, shower curtains, electronics, and mops
  • Unwilling to come and get the free stuff herself and demands contactless delivery
  • Asked complete stranger to complete stranger to stop at Target and get her a birthday cake, a gift card, and a birthday present so that she can resell it all on Facebook marketplace
  • Turned down my job offer of $25 an hour and asked for money instead
  • Didn’t seem to understand that I’ve written blogs about her and she still sends me Cashapp requests to this day




4. Ludlow Slugpump Sister vs. 13. Billy Birthmark and Grandma Meat Smoker

4. Ludlow Slugpump Sister

  • Received 4.5 hours worth of work done to her hair to turn it silver and then dipped on the bill
  • Immediately recognized for being Turtleboy famous last year and making the Sweet 16 of Ratchet Madness as a 13 seed with her sister
  • Posted picture on Facebook afterwards, taunting business she just stole from and had no remorse or shame for what she’s done and thinks that it’s OK because she didn’t like the job they did
  • After blog sent us a message that she was filing a report for slandering her name with SVU Detective Kathy
  • Continued to shit on the hard working business owner who she stole from, claiming that the woman was out of line because she expected to be paid for providing a service in her salon
  • Became furious and called into the Live Show because we had her sister on who admitted that she never got the GoFundMe money from her last year


13. Billy Birthmark and Grandma Meat Smoker

  • Son robbed a guy at knifepoint who asked him to buy pot for him, took a bus home, somehow collapsed and became unresponsive, then woke up and realized he didn’t wanna go to the hospital so he tried to stab a cop
  • Previously was arrested for trying to rob someone outside of a gas station but the plan went to Hell when his crackhead partner dropped his gun
  • Lives in Westport but uses the n word freely on social media
  • Films himself with girlfriend driving around and confronting hoes before celebrating with Dunkins
  • Reproduced with ratchet he calls his “queen” and named the offspring Tre
  • posted on Facebook about how he was disavowing his “lil queer youngins cousins”
  • Mom threatened to stab someone in the comments on his Facebook page for pointing out what an idiot he was for catching such a serious charge over $70
  • Mom constantly rants on Facebook about all the dirty dicks who aren’t loyal to her, and all the ho’s they chose over her




5. Rego Brothers vs. 12. Big E Brawler Dad

5. Rego Brothers

  • Scammed innocent people out of hundreds of thousands, and potentially millions of dollars by pretending to know how to install concrete
  • Infamous for showing up on the first day to do work, digging up people’s lawns, then never returning again while making up excuses about broken down trucks and Dads with cancer
  • Younger brother Eli abused and starved hid Great Dane and was charged with animal cruelty while employed as a Sudbury Police dispatcher in 2017
  • Have started multiple companies that they keep dissolving in order to avoid paying judgments
  • Use fake addresses for headquarters so no one can ever find them
  • Contracted two other deadbeats named Wayne and Joe because they had more customers to scam
  • Owe potentially hundreds of judgments across Massachusetts and Rhode Island
  • Nelson used scam to build up nest egg to eventually leave the conning business and launch a pop singing career
  • Nelson was arrested 6 or more times for child support and civil warrants from courts all over the state
  • Constable reportedly had over 60 civil warrants for Nelson Rego at one time
  • Nelson made crying video complaining that he was losing singing gigs as a result of blogs
  • Nelson pays to have YouTube videos produced in which he is interviewed pretending to be a pop star who offers advice to up and coming singers


12. Big E Brawler Dad

  • Daughters were caught on video at Big E in ratchet hair pulling fight
  • He appeared to be breaking it up but really was just helping his daughters by body slamming their opponents
  • Turned out to be a heroin dealing dirtbag
  • Formed an LLC in Marlborough shortly before his arrest in May and got a $20,000 PPP loan for it
  • Was arrested in Tarrytown, New York while trafficking over 6 pounds of heroin from New Jersey, and in 2014 he was arrested on I-91 in Holyoke and caught with 120 bags of heroin.




3. Fall River Fallopian Fishbowlers vs. 14. I Hate My Kid Mom

3. Fall River Fallopian Fishbowlers

  • Posed for hilarious baby shower pictures in which multiple hoodboogers rubbed her belly because all of them could be the father
  • Ironically complains on Facebook about women who spread their legs easily
  • Claims that she “ain’t catching diseases” and urges the haters to “play with ya coochie not mines”
  • Uses n word freely on social media
  • Brings a butch barbie around her kid who is known for crashing into stone walls while under the influence of drugs and carrying unlicensed weapons
  • She and butch barbie filmed themselves fishbowling room while smoking a blunt and blowing smoke in baby’s face
  • Has lost custody of kids for short periods of time after she nodded off while driving and smashed into one of her baby daddy’s cars
  • Makes extremely ratchet posts on Facebook, including that she “has no time for ho’s that be telling her to take care of her kids,” and blames other ratchets for percocet deals gone wrong



14. I Hate My Kid Mom

  • Announced to the world that she hated at least one of her kids and regretted giving birth to them
  • Doubled down several times to reiterate that she does in fact hate her own spawn in case anyone thought she was joking
  • Said that ““People can hate their kids and that’s fine”
  • After getting called out she attempted to gain pity by posting picture of herself in hospital
  • Said she hates the kid because she can’t ice skate due to an alleged brain injury
  • Mother and cousin chimed in on Facebook to confirm that she is indeed horrible and they’re working to keep the kids away from her




6. North Shore Violin Gypsies vs. 11. Southside Slampig

6. North Shore Violin Gypsies

  • Suddenly appeared this summer at grocery stores and intersections using their children who pretend to play the violin during school hours in order to scam people out of money
  • Have been spotted in been spotted in Chelsea, Revere, Hudson, Bellingham, Medway, Quincy, Bridgewater, Saugus, Waltham, Medford, Framingham, Dedham, Ashland, Lawrence, Methuen, Nashua, Boston, Rhode Island, Connecticut, and dozens of other locations after getting kicked out of one spot
  • Venmo account went back to gypsy child who pretends to play the violin and dresses like a 30 year old Eurotrash at the club
  • Dad wrote message in some sort of gypsy dialect to Turtleboy, vowing to take us to court if we didn’t “delete me from where else posted” and delete him from the Internet entirely (whatever that means)
  • Tried to get him to come on the Live Show but he had no idea what I was talking about and just wanted to be removed from the Internet forever



11. Southside Slampig

  • Ratchet whose 2 sons were arrested for murdering a female Chicago police officer
  • Posted Facebook rant about how her wonderful boys shot two cops because they were justifiably scared of them
  • Posted another Facebook Live video where she entered the hospital looking for her two sons who she could not see because they were in custody, but could not find them
  • Posted third video where she entered the surgical wing, yelled “open this mother f***ing door,” barged past nurses, yelled for her murderous spawn, and assaulted officers who attempted to detain her
  • Didn’t get to see her killer sons but was arrested and charged with battery, resisting a peace officer and criminal trespassing
  • Bragged about about how proud she was of the man her killer son had become underneath picture of him throwing drug money on the floor
  • Got knocked up by several different men, all of whom ended up in jail
  • Oldest son Aunray was born when she was the ripe old age of 16, and he ended up becoming an aspiring rapper who had already made Evalena a Grandma by the age of 35, and then died in 2018.




7. North Providence Biker Mom vs. 10. Tom Mountain

7. North Providence Biker Mom

  • Arrested for terrorizing Cranston drivers with her posse of losers in ATVs, and then assaulting a cop while her children sat at home wondering where Mommy was
  • Filmed herself taking a massive digger while attempting to do wheelies on strike bikes in Boston
  • Started a GoFundMe to raise money for her legal defense, after blockading a woman in traffic, banging on her window, and then assaulting a cop
  • Later in the year she and her posse dragged a mother out of her car in traffic and beat her in front of her 8 year old child
  • IG story has videos of her driving while smoking blunts, and promoting her Only Fans account



10. Tom Mountain

  • Left sexually suggestive comments under a 14 year old girl’s Facebook posts and didn’t realize the general public could see it because he’s a boomer who doesn’t understand how Facebook works
  • Later claimed he was hacked in bizarre message in which he shared an image of himself decked out in Trump memorabilia
  • Wears a hat on his head to make it look like he’s some sort of veteran
  • Called me to try to get me not to write blog about him because we were on the “same team,” eventually admitted he wasn’t hacked, promised to post that he wasn’t, but never did
  • I informed him that I was aware that he was talking to what he believed to be a young Israeli soldier/model, and that this was not a real person, which he didn’t believe
  • Had weeks long conversation with this woman where he pretended to be a modeling expert who could bring her to the finest orgies in Boston when she visited the states
  • Pretended to be friends with Benjamin Netanyahu, who he went to orgies with
  • Claimed to have slept with random female friends in his pictures in order to impress the fake person catfishing him
  • Told the woman that “Too many women say no to sex when they want to say yes”
  • Told her that a strap-on would be “most welcome,” said that he would lick where the poo comes out, and then shove his self-described “manhood” inside of her
  • Claimed to have sex with hundreds of women from countries all over the Globe, who had heard about his sexual prowess
  • Vowed to sue Turtleboy and press criminal charges




2. Norfolk Horse Fucker vs. 15. Hopedale Herbalife Mom

2. Norfolk Horse Fucker

  • Dude fucked a horse
  • Wore Timberlands and brought step up stool with him in order to get good angle with most attractive horse in the stable
  • Caught on camera fluffing himself up as a warmup before climbing the ladder and tossing in his filly filler


15. Hopedale Herbalife Mom

  • 33 year old mother of more than half a dozen children who lives in a duplex she inherited next to her gem of a brother Stephen with all of the kids and her boyfriend
  • Sells pyramid schemes (she’s a completely out of shape “health coach” for Herbalife) and collects from the government (disability for one kid too) for a living, recently saw one of her baby daddy’s deported on drug charges, and constantly Facebook Lives her glamorous lifestyle
  • Sick and tired of her friends not buying the milkshakes she’s selling when she can see them on SnapChat buying tattoos and iPhones
  • Despite being a welfare collecting guttermuppet who constantly is begging for free baby clothes she has plenty of money for family trips to Florida, iPhones for all the kids, and really important things like new lashes and nails
  • Has two dogs that terrorize the neighbors and allegedly killed another dog and bit the dog’s owner
  • She and her brother’s dogs are known to terrorize neighbors and destroy property value
  • Brother stole pepper spray from an older woman after his dog attacked hers, and was arrested for it
  • Likes to document the ratchet roller coaster she calls life on Facebook Live, and frequently posts videos showing her elite parenting skills.
  • Posted video of her driving around to pick up one of her kids at school, with an unrestrained 5 year old in the backseat, swearing up a storm, demeaning police officers, and calling people “retards”
  • Posts about how her kids’ teachers feel bad for her and probably don’t want to see the kids starve to death so they sometimes feed them



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