The FBI and Alton, NH Police announced that they’d arrested a familiar face.
Who remembers our old friend Dawson Boston? (sometimes referred to as the “Pube Face Killah.) Last time we heard from him he was getting visited by Secret Service after threatening to kill the President because his actions were interfering with Mr. Boston’s ability to sell heroin.
He then messaged us pretending to be both a police officer and a lawyer (while using his own Facebook account, mind you), and vowed massive deformation lawsuits because he said he’s not really a drug dealer.
Turns out he was a drug dealer the whole time after all. And he must’ve been selling enough product that it caught the attention of the FBI.
You may also recall that the last we heard from him he was on the live show threatening to kill himself so that I would end up in jail.
If I had a dime for every time someone threatened to turn me into Michelle Carter I’d never have to blog again. I’m sorry to report that he’s still consuming our oxygen and has been profiting off of selling poison to vulnerable people for the past several months.
Of course this brilliant individual didn’t think that making rap videos of himself counting thousands of dollars in drug money inside a cheap motel room could possibly attract the attention of the police.
And instead of saving his money he decided to spend it all on this lovely sportball ensemble.
Right down to the shoes.
I know what’s going on my next Amazon wish list.
He’s also been performing at a lot of big venues. Better hurry up to see him because tickets are going fast!
If you’re ever feeling like you haven’t amounted to much in life just remind yourself that you could’ve ended up as a background dancer in one of Dawson Boston’s rap videos.
It could be worse.
Rochester 6 worse.
Meanwhile he’s lecturing others about the dangers of drugs.
He used to do drugs, until he realized that drugs kill. Then he naturally decided to sell them instead while lecturing the people he’s selling to about how they can be better people.
And finally he did a 90 second infomercial lecturing women about how to have respect for themselves.
“Get your s*** right, get a job, get your life together.”
Yea ladies, with a little work you too can become drug dealers and YouTube rappers like Dawson Boston.
“Do you guys not want a good boyfriend? You’re never gonna find a good guy out there. You ain’t never gonna find a guy like me.”
Sorry ladies, but if you don’t have respect for yourself then this will never, ever be yours.
Thoughts and prayers.
“I came from the mother f****ing bottom.”
By the looks of it it Dawson, you’re about to BE the bottom my friend.
But when you finally get out feel free to hit me up and I’ll have you back on the live show so you can tell us all how you’re not really a drug dealer again.
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