Make yourself a drink and sit down for 15 minutes because you’re gonna need some time to get comfortable and figure out this ratchet love triangle. All of the parties involved in this are hereby invited to join us on the Live Show tomorrow night at 9 PM when we will discuss this in detail. Click here to subscribe to our YouTube channel.
Editor’s Note: Some of the parties involved did take up our invitation offer and joined us when we discussed the topic on the Live Show (34:40).
In June we blogged about a 15 year old missing girl from Worcester who posted on the WPD Facebook page that she was fine and didn’t want to return home to her mother. She made some accusations about her Mom, Sylvestine Barjolo, which led us to doing some research and discovering that Mom was a coke dealing deadbeat who said that she hopes her daughter gets raped and dies.
Mom briefly showed up on our Facebook page to defend her honor, using her account Mazlawon Barjolo. We didn’t hear from her for a month after that.
Then things got interesting at the end of July. It began when Mommy Montana started to message and call me, accusing me of speaking to a woman named Chris-love Davis, who she said was contacting us with lies using the account Ghanasia Davis.
Evidently Chris-love likes to talk smack about someone named Fupa, who has a trans mom.
I had no idea what she was talking about, but she made it seem like Chris-love was just as bad of a mother as she was and she wanted us to write about her.
I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about so we left it at that.
At the time I hadn’t checked the inbox on Turtleboy Daily News (we have interns that usually do that, I can best be reached on Clarence Woods Emerson), and as fate would have it “Ghanashia” had messaged the page trying to get us to blog about Mommy Montana again.
Rhonda Uganda claimed that the two of them got into a “mutual fight” that was initiated by Mommy Montana, and that her and her cousin were being wrongly accused of a home invasion by the Shrewsbury Police Department.
Indeed the SPD had posted on July 20 about Rhonda Uganda being arrested for driving from Southbridge and bursting into Mommy Montana’s house with a knife to kick the shit out of her. Turns out she’s just a ratchet loan shark who came to collect her due.
She messaged me this story from the courthouse while waiting arraignment, which is surprisingly the first time in Turtleboy history this has ever happened. But she wanted to clear her name and the proof she had that she was in fact innocent were some still photos of her kicking the shit out of Mommy Montana.
Apparently Rhonda Uganda brought her 19 year old cousin with her to document and photograph her collecting her payments. This might be the first and only creditor Mommy Montana has ever paid off. Sure beats small claims. (This is what the liberals in your town want when they say that you need more affordable housing.)
From there Ghanaisha Chirstlove explained that Mommy Montana set her up in an elaborate plot to make her lose custody of her kid because she had lost custody of her own kids. So she pretended to be Rhonda Uganda’s friend, then challenged her to a fight, and he used the home invasion to get a TRO on her. She wanted us to blog about him too, as well as a woman named Shesha, who she accused of felating her ex-husband’s subpar baloney pony.
She shared text messages from the Foreskin Fribble, bragging about how she was taking good care of his spam javelin.
Yes, this all seems very normal.
Her ex-husband Clifford is apparently a scammer, and she claims he’s gonna be departed to Ghana. He has a vast array of Google trophies including A&B, shoplifting, A&B on a family member, larceny, unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle, small claims losses, and an insurance fraud cause for telling MAPFRE that his Mercedes was hit while parked, when in fact he smashed into something.
According to Google he sells cars at Herb Chambers in Auburn.
So she might not be lying about him. But I was more interested in finding out why she thought she was innocent if she photographed herself invading someone else’s home and beating the shit out them. According to Rhonda Uganda, Mommy Montana was “extortion her,” offered several places to meet up and fight, and chose section housing in Shrewsbury.
I wanted evidence, and she sent me a conversation she had with Mommy Montana’s runaway daughter.
That poor kid.
Ghanaisha then told me that she lost custody of her 5 year old kid over the incident and wanted to redeem herself. To prove her innocence she sent me screenshots of a conversation she had with Mommy Montana asking her for money, which inevitably meant that she had to go to her house and dogwalk her like it was going out of style.
In fairness, she’s not lying about Mommy Montana instigating this whole thing. Girlfriend did refer to Rhonda Uganda a “bitch ass ho,” called her out on Snapchat, talked smack about her daughter, and threatened to have her homeys run train on Grandma. Even in Southbridge that’s frowned upon.
But Ghanaisha wasn’t being honest with me about her being a stand up citizen, considering she’s got more Google trophies than a transgender swimmer in the special olympics.
Last year she was charged with violating a restraining order against Clifford when she left him a voicemail calling him a “bitch ass n word who was just like a female.”
This is all very normal for a child to grow up witnessing.
Then Rhonda Uganda sent me booty pics of Mommy Montana with a GPS ankle monitor, which she had to wear during her probation.
Someone calls both of these people “Mom.” That’s wild.
Then she went back to bashing Clifford the little red hog, alleging that he used customer’s information from Herb Chambers to buy himself high end clothes, and somehow he still works there.
She also alleged that he robbed IKEA, duplicates credit cards, steals money from women he bangs, and his Mom who works in Dudley District Court got an order on her too.
Then she sent me pictures of some sort of model who she claimed Mommy Montana cut up as part of her plot to become the cocaine queen of Worcester.
And basically all of her Google trophies are really crimes he committed.
I’m still not sure who the villain is here. Mommy Montana is a deadbeat coke dealer whose kids don’t wanna live with her and never pays rent. Rhonda Uganda films herself invading homes and kicking the shit out of women who speak ill of her on Snapchat, and has a plethora of Google trophies that she claims are all her husband’s fault. Clifford the little red hog is a serial con-artist who uses his job at Herb Chambers to steal from customers and buy multiple homes, and now he’s gonna be deported to Ghana where he committed an armed robbery because he got caught trying to commit car insurance fraud.
It seems like the real losers here are the kids who have to look up to these guttermuppets as caregivers.