Like Turtleboy on Facebook

The Bagel Guy Is A Horrible Person Who Deserves To Be Sad And Miserable For The Rest Of His Life


For the completely unfiltered Turtleboy take on this blog, click here to read it on TBS.

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock for the last couple days, you’ve probably seen the viral video of an epic meltdown in a NY bagel shop. If you have been under a rock, here’s a refresher.

On Wednesday, a video posted on Twitter began making the rounds and generating a lot of water cooler talk.


When are people going to learn to shoot videos horizontally? Amateurs!

More from the New York Post:

“A Long Island bagel shop customer was caught on camera lashing out at other patrons in a bizarre tirade about women rejecting him because of his short stature.

“Why is it OK for women to say, ‘Oh you’re 5 feet’ on dating sites — you should be dead. That’s OK?” the unidentified Bagel Boss customer roared in a video shared to Twitter on Wednesday.”

It didn’t take long for the Tiny Terror to be identified. He is Chris Morgan, age 45 of Bay Shore, New York, and apparently this isn’t his first rodeo.  From

“Morgan Has YouTube Videos Showing Him in Confrontations at a 7-Eleven, a Library, a Bar & With a Neighbor & He Calls a Woman a ‘Ghetto Hoodrat’ in Another Video”

Unfortunately, Chris is learning that viral fame has a price, as most of his videos have been pulled from YouTube.

“Morgan, a Divorced Cleaning Company Owner, Says He Is Glad the Bagel Boss Video Went Viral & Calls Himself the Modern Day Martin Luther King.

“I’m sick of getting constantly lied to and used on dates. And then they dump me. They tell me I’m too short,” he told the Daily Mail. “They don’t have a job, or a job as good as mine. They don’t have a car. They are more overweight… and they are judging ME?”

Yup, just like Martin Luther King Jr. He had a dream that he was 5′ 10″, but then woke up 4′ 11″ and went right back to being the most awful person on the planet.

There seems to be two driving factors behind Tiny Tim’s Mr. Morgan’s behavior. First and foremost is his belief that all women are gold diggers. His YouTube channel is filled with videos of him being a terrible, terrible person to other human beings who he has run afoul of. Now that he’s famous they’ve mostly been removed by YouTube. As you can see in this video from his channel, he leaves a woman behind in a cold parking lot because she refused to go back to his house and have sex with him. Not before taking a victory lap, though.

 “So you don’t want to go back to my place? You don’t want to hang out? You don’t want to fool around? You know I spent $750,000?”

No one wants to go back to your sad, lonely apartment where you cry yourself to sleep every night. This guy is the classic “why don’t girls like nice guys” guy. He thinks that he’s one of the “good ones,” and because of that women are supposed to look past the fact that they could never possibly be sexually attracted to him. When they don’t he lashes out at them because he believes women owe him sex. This makes him terrible.

After begging her to go back to his place, and being refused repeatedly, he gets in the car, starts it up and drives off, recording himself laughing maniacally as he does so.

I can’t imagine why he’s divorced.

“$750,000 I said I was gonna spend on her and she doesn’t even wanna let me fool around with her. Really??”

Dude, judging by the condition of your car, which you also live in

I doubt she believe that you have 750 cents to spend on her.

He then drives back around to screw with her again, making her think he’s gonna let her into the car before speeding off.

It’s easy to paint Tiny Tim Chris as a misogynist, but his problem is more of a Napoleonic Complex.

“After his divorce in 2007, Morgan seemed to hold onto a disdain towards women and men who are larger than him.

“I’m just not tolerating this anymore,” Morgan declared. “Some of those girls found it funny. That’s why I have resentment towards women. I find them all to be stupid, gold-digging liars.”

The 5’0″ Morgan calls himself a prophet and the modern day Martin Luther King.

“I have a mission. The girls hate me, they don’t like me, that’s fine,” he added. “I’m not stopping and the world is going to hear me. I want equality for everybody.””

This holds true in the fight video, because after he’s done lashing out at the young girl, he turns to a guy who towers over him.

“You’re not God or my father or my boss!”

Oh, he’s about to make himself your daddy.

“You wanna step outside? HUH!? I ain’t scared of you, pal!”

The big guy doesn’t back down, but also manages to display some incredible self control. That’s when another man speaks up from the back of the line. “Enough. Enough.”

In for a penny, in for a pound, right? Chris has come this far and he’s not stopping now!

“You shut up, too!”

Here’s where Chris makes his final mistake. He squares up to the off camera guy, opens himself up…

…and quickly realizes the error of his ways.

Live look at the guy who wasn’t having any more of his hot nonsense in the bagel shop.

I took this part of the video and slowed it down. Let me tell you, I’ve watched it no fewer than 2 dozen times and it’s still just as satisfying as the first.

So, so satisfying.

Then there’s this video of him harassing two Pakistani guys running a mini mart, allegedly because they asked him how tall he was.

“Pakistan? Really? You know how much money our country gives you? F*cking third-world toilet countries,” Morgan said. “If it wasn’t for our country, you wouldn’t be working here.”

You live in Long Island, which is about half a step down from Pakistan. Of course he dragged the cops down there too and made them wasted their time with his short people problems, whining about how he has to sleep in his car because he’s such a massive failure. He knows it’s not harassment, he was just doing this whole “I’m an angry little man and world owes me something” routine because he’s been trying to get someone to pay attention to him for years now. Finally he got it.

At first this guy was amusing to laugh at, but he’s clearly a mentally unstable loser who thinks the world owes him something because he stopped growing in the fourth grade. The fact that he lives in Long Island makes him even worse. Nothing good has ever come out of Long Island. Ever.

At least Bagel Boss is taking this whole thing in stride.



Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:

Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 



Related Articles


Ad Free Turtleboy + TBDAILYNEWS

Ad Free Turtleboy

Ad Free Turtleboy
$10.00 / month