Law and Order

Wareham Mother Arrested For Selling Fentanyl Recently Posted About Deceased Friends Who Likely Died From Overdosing

 

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This is Karissa Thompson, a 29 year old single mom from Wareham.

She’s technically single, in that the gentleman who impregnated her is currently incarcerated due to his tendency to disobey the law.

Then again, I think we all saw that one coming from his profile picture.

The hat. Nuff said.

Their love child was unfortunately given the name “Jaxxon” with 2 x’s.

Studies have shown that if you’re named Jaxxon or anything that rhymes with Kayden, your chances of ending up on TB increase exponentially. As does your odds if your birth mother poses with bottles of Hennessy.

Regularly incorporates phrases like “gang gang” into casual conversations.

Wears Chicago Bulls gear whenever possible.

Speaks in fluent Rathetese.

And expresses her love for your father by saying, “Ima ride for you.”

With the baby daddy incarcerated you would think that Bologna Pony Montana would want to get her act together for the sake of her child, but instead she decided to sell massive amounts of fentanyl instead.

Too bad the Wareham PD doesn’t provide you with a dog filter for your mugshot. Poor girl is out here looking like ghetto Alex Dunphy.

Here’s a pro tip for all aspiring heroin dealers out there – don’t make this your cover photo on Facebook.

The police know where that money came from, and anyone can see your cover photo regardless of your privacy restrictions.

Here’s another pro tip – if you sell heroin and/or fentanyl, don’t post RIP to your friends who die “suddenly,” because that almost always means they died overdosing on a product that you sell.

This would be like OJ posting “RIP Ron and Nicole” on the anniversary of that time he carved them up like a turkey.

And just when you thought she couldn’t get any more deplorable, this All-Star mother is also part of the “rent strike” movement, even though she has thousands of dollars on her at all times from drug proceeds.

Anyway, if homegirl is out on bail before the weekend I’d love to have her on the live show as a guest. God knows she won’t be busy taking care of her crotch fruit for a while, so her schedule should be wide open.

 

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