This is Melanie McCloud.
The other day Sour Cream and Bunyan here posted in a Providence COVID relief Facebook group that was set up months ago to help people who were struggling to get through the “pandemic.” According to her she’s 5 months pregnant, trying to escape domestic violence, homeless, and doesn’t want to hear any negative comments.
A couple red flags here:
- The pre-emptive “no negative comments” thing usually means she’s tried this before and got called out on it.
- If your PayPal email is “[email protected],” then you’re probably up to no good. That’s just science.
Right on cue the red flags went up, starting with the fact that she had a “I’m pregnant and homeless” GoFundMe in July.
I’m not a math major, but if she’s five months pregnant now, and recently became pregnant, seems like it’s unlikely that she was homeless and knew she was pregnant on July 14.
She claimed to be in Rhode Island after “escaping” from her husband Andrew in New York, which is surprising because he appears to be a well read, learned scholar of the highest moral character.
That guy right there LOVE a big fat booty. He’s drawn to it like transfat. It’s just in his DNA.
Just a few months ago Rick Salad Toss was the best husband ever.
Her story was really compelling, but when you clicked on her Facebook page and saw all the pages she liked it became clear that she’s joined hundreds of groups like this around the country for the sole purpose of scamming them.
And a quick gander into some of these groups shows that she just copies and pastes that nonsensical partial birth abortion of a sentagraph into all of these groups and just hopes to get a biter. She does switch it up a little bit, but the core message remains the same. For instance, she told a Athens, GA mutual aid group that her Mom just died.
And she told a Houma, Louisiana hurricane relief group that she’s not looking for future help (jobs), but is only interested in immediate relief (send her money).
The most offensive part about this is that she’s invested all this time into finding and joining all these groups, and she couldn’t even write a post in English. All she had to do was just write something normal once, then copy and paste it. But she was too lazy to do that so she copy and pasted the first draft instead because her stolen lunch buffet gift card to Golden Corrall expired at 12:30.
But wait, it gets better. In one of the groups she recently warned people about a scammer!
Almost as ironic as this post.
And just in case you thought that she may actually be some sort of sympathetic battered woman, a cursory look at her page reveals that Melanie is indeed 100% ratchet. For starters she appears to not have custody of her 12 year old son.
She’s looking for a sugar daddy over 50, presumably because her prison penpal boyfriend messed around and got 6 months added to his sentence.
Her long term goals include getting a gym membership, getting fly again, and finding housing, and she has no time for rival ho’s complaining to her man that they’re worried that their man will leave them when they get out of jail.
Priceless memories of her husband all revolve around cunalingus.
Her financial prospects rely completely on Facebook memes that tell her God is about to make it rain on a ho.
She apparently moved to California so she could visit her man in jail during a three year bid, during which time she worked 100 hours a week to make sure he was a “straight n word.”
But don’t even try to get up in her fupa rolls, because the only man allowed in there is God!
You didn’t have to tell me twice Melanie. Hard pass.
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