Yesterday we published a blog about a woman who parked illegally in a Haverhill handicapped spot while trying to buy Newports, and then attempted to excuse herself by claiming to be a Revere cop.
We wanted to know her name to see if a cop was really using their badge to validate parking in handicapped spots, and a lot of people did send us her name – Cristina Ciampi. To the surprise of nobody she is not really a cop, although she may have fornicated with one.
She also showed up on the Turtle Boy Sports Forever Facebook page to defend her honor, which is always a high percentage play.
The blog is a lie because she’s from East Boston and not Revere, even though East Boston is just Revere with an airport. But I notice she didn’t deny parking in the handicapped spot illegally, nor did she deny that she wasn’t a cop. So was that a lie?
Oh I see. It’s a lie because she was only illegally parked in a handicapped spot for two minutes while she ran inside to buy Newports. That doesn’t count.
She finally admitted that this was in fact wrong, but didn’t address why she lied about being a cop and blamed the guy recording her for blocking her in, thus preventing her escape from public humiliation. She also vowed deformation lawsuits.
Paging Attorney Richard N. Vulva.
Then she messaged the TBS Forever page and Clarence Woods Emerson to try to smooth things over.
Pro tip – things usually go a lot smoother when you don’t threaten deformation lawsuits and make up excuses for your ratchet behavior. The fact that you are a “hard working single Mom” doesn’t impress me, and it’s certainly not an excuse to pretend to be a cop in order to park in handicapped spots.
Also, don’t come at me with the “you’re gonna make someone suicide” thing.
I immediately hate you when you do that. You’re also not admitting your wrongs if you’re making excuses for them.
She messaged the TBS Forever page as well with proof that she’s not a ratchet.
A selfie with a SnapChat filter. Case closed. Not guilty.
Also, don’t brag about how you “know a lot of high people in Revere” and tell us to “ask about you” if you’re looking for sympathy.
She’s apparently a PCA, so she should know better than to park in handicapped spots. And, if you’re trying to lose 25 pounds, maybe parking a little further away from the door might help.
Or just not eating donuts.
As always, the door is open if Cristina wants to come on the live show tomorrow night and try to explain herself.
Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: