I’ve seen a lot of creative GoFundMe’s over the years, but I haven’t seen anything quite like the one that St. Paul, MN resident Junazia Monae put up last week.
It is entitled, “HELP MY BABYDADDY GET OFF CRACK!!!!”
Because of the hilarity of the whole situation the GFM was shared nearly 100,000 before she decided to cash out, take it down, and then put up another one to make it look like she hadn’t capitalized on her ghetto fupastar fame. Unfortunately if you don’t speak Ratchetese it’s difficult to understand what she’s attempting to communicate, so I will translate for you.
Ok guys i dont know where to start, I’ll just start from the beginning , So 3 years ago APRIL 8 2016 I MET THIS GUY NAMED (MIKEMOE) I was at the time going through something with my first love & decided to use mike to make my first love mad♀️
I had a boyfriend who exclusively wears flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hats, which is usually the first thing I look for in a mate.
However, he was too busy working on his rap career to give me the attention I need, so I began posting my rumpus on social media as much as possible in order to make him jealous, and took the first guy willing to approach me from the rear and give me the R Kelly special.
welp plans changed, Instead i got to know the lil roach. Im like he kinda ugly but he coo doe so i said forget it & kept messing with him because his vibe. Im like buddy coo i guess,
I was initially planning on using him for the D because I’m not attracted to him at all. However, I began to get the feels and realized that I was a bit of a dumpsterslug myself, so I settled because this was probably the best I was going to get.
Now 5 months past we vibing , next thing u know i done fell in love with a ugly kangaroo ♀️ 07.29.17 we had our first born, (James) *My son looks better than his dad* No cap , then 3 months ago 9.22.19 we had our second born *
We chose not to use birth control because when you live in Ilhan Omar’s district the more fruits a la crotch you can fire out the more money starts raining down from the welfare tree. And if you think I’ve learned my lesson from this, you are dead wrong, because I plan on procreating several more times.
Mi’Nazia* he barely even knows! only seen her 4 times since she was born!
We found a way to make up a name that is worse than the one my mother gave me by incorporating an apostrophe for absolutely no reason, thus greatly increasing the chances that the child’s first words will be, “yo daddy ain’t s***.”
He was a GREAAAAT father He didnt play about our baby boy he always putted him 1st. until he got a hold to the DRUGS! They bond was super tight , tighter than the shirts & pants michael wears Did i mention he do crack now .. NVM i’ll tell yall about that later,
He never paid child support, but he fed the semen demon a bottle of food stamp formula a couple of times, which made him a great Dad until he decided that he’d rather smoke crack. No one could’ve seen this coming.
Anyways he started hanging around niggas that smoke k2, snort percs, drink lean, and do yopps. Eventually he started slacking, he moved 3 hrs away with his nanny, (courtney monay austin) and started slacking bad in life. He started stealing from her, Stealing her cars, And stealing money from her, Just to get to stpaul to get k2 , Now COURTNEY being desprate she puts up with that. She’ll do watever it is to keep a nigga around. Mind u she 34 he’s 23. Anyways , me and her had a conversation on the phone 3 months ago. She told me about how she going to bring him a lot of k2 up to her place so he wouldnt have an excuse to come back to the cities ♀️ thats where she went wrong at because now my babydad is addicted to it badly,
I spoke with his new girlfriend, who is 11 years his senior and prevents him from returning to St. Paul by feeding him a steady diet of drugs and poon-tang. However, this was a mistake on her part because now he’s a junkie.
3 days ago im walking into the gas station to pay for my gas , i see a young man looking like a D#$% fool ! On side of the gas station trying to get my attention! I didnt know who it was so i kept walking , he didnt know who i was either , Now he’s all behind me begging for 4$’s i turn around because as he got closer voice sounded more familiar to me ITS MY BABYDAD he tried to play it off & say he knew it was me he was juss playing around, No because why is it crust around yo lips i automatically figured he was on crack.
My baby daddy is such a crackhead that he didn’t recognize me, despite the fact that we had a child together a year ago. He asked me for $4 and then played it off like he was kidding. Crackhead humor is an acquired taste, but she did not believe he was kidding due to the crust around his lips.
I looked down he had on some big a$$ busted black forces, Lordddd ♀️ i automatically got upset with him because never have i expected him to turn into a crackhead i mean wen i met him he was a medium crackhead♀️ but i changed him to do better.
She was a positive influence in his life, as can be ascertained by the fact that he was only a “medium crackhead,” while they were making not one, but two babies together. This is what “medium crackhead” looks like.
It’s not ideal, but it’s manageable. However, the new woman in his life allows him to go full crackhead.
After our breakup idk wtf happen to him. Anyways, the nigga on drugs bad i bumped into him 2 months later again this time downtown, He was stratching his neck begging for 4$ and 50 cents now. So he see me and my son walking into the store downtown he saw my son pull out a 10$ bill , And asked my son can he get his changes after he pay for his snacks which was 5.25 im like wtf turn around its him again once again he said he knew it was me. He was just playing♀️
Several months later the same exact thing happened, except due to inflation he now asks for $4.50 instead of $4. Her son, who regularly carries around $10 on him despite being a toddler, was approached by his father and asked for the change he’d receive after purchasing snacks. The child said, “get a job junkie,” and the father played it off like it was a practical joke.
so just a small donation of 5$ 10$ maybe 15$ we can all come together and help my babydaddy go back normal and put him in treatment♀️ i cant sleep at night knowing he a crackhead im so hurt, we use to be a happy family before the drugs abused him, He started losing dreads and sleep. like lets come together and make MINNESOTA great again! arent yall tired of him stopping yall too begging for 4$’s? lets get this man in rehab plus he be stealing k2 roaches from his hommies! they should really pintch in and help. He use to be healthy before he started doin crack BRING BACK THE OLD MIKE LETS GET HIM HELP NOW WE LOSING TOO MANY FATHERS TO CRACK, JAIL OR THE GRAVE! LETS MAKE HIM UN BECOME A CRACK HEAD. & Nooo i dont do drugs! im sober asf dont even smoke cigarettes or drink! i just wanna get my babydaddy off crack before its too late. my kids deserve a sober dad♀️ now he sleeping with his step cousin who is 15 years older than him he said he need help he just dont know where to find it, LORD … surving having a Crackhead ass baby daddy LIFETIME! IM READY TO TELL MY STORY!! snapchat:mickeeeybaby
Give me money so I can put him in rehab where he can magically go back to being a medium crackhead and be the dream father I always imagined he would be when we named our first child Mi’Nazia. Things are getting ugly now that he is fornicating with his step-cousin, who is 15 years his senior.
She was able to raise $95 last I saw, and probably more by the time she shut the GFM down and withdrew all the cash, because some people just enjoy burning money.
If Junazia would like to come on the live show this weekend to discuss her progress in getting her baby daddy into rehab we would be honored to have her on the show.
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