Police officers and others who have to work on Christmas sacrifice a lot by giving up quality time with their families to make sure criminals don’t run rampant. If people could just agree to not break the law on Christmas Day (just one day a year) then they could stay home. But unfortunately places like Woonsocket exist, and entire families of ratchets do stuff like this at local gas stations.
That’s how you celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ in Rhode Island’s upper colon.
The video begins with the unknown African-American male being apprehended by the police, likely because he was breaking some sort of law. His wife and her son evidently didn’t like this, so Mikey Mayonnaise rolled up his sleeves and decided to jump head first into the scrum.
He was quickly thrown to the ground after interfering with a dangerous and volatile situation.
Auntie Emphysema, who appears to be the mother of Mikey Mayonnaise, showed off her parenting skills by yelling really helpful things to diffuse the dangerous escalation that her loved ones were causing. She did this by yelling productive things like, “That’s my f***ing kid,” “don’t touch my kid,” and “What did he do?” Because if the police are attempting to arrest someone who is actively resisting, they will stop what they’re doing to play 21 questions with you.
This may be the most Woonsocket screenshot of all time.
Auntie Emphysema really smoothed things over with such quotes as, “These crooked a** cops, I’m about to kick in you in the f***ing face” before being dragged away by her son, who of course was wearing sandals on Christmas Day, in below freezing temperatures.
Meanwhile, the bootleg Wayans brother on the ground was actively resisting arrest while his wife continued to yell “what did he do” despite not getting an answer the first 20 times she asked that question.
The legal scholars who were witnessing what transpired voiced their displeasure that it took four police officers to detain the suspect, while conveniently ignoring that it would only require one cop if he simply didn’t resist arrest.
Auntie Emphysema continued her campaign for mother of the year with such quotes as, “And they hit junior!! You hit my kid mother f***er” and, “It’s going DOOOWWWWNNN!!!”
One would think that this would smooth things over, but instead it ended up with Junior in handcuffs.
And Auntie Emphysema squaring up with the po-po.
Continuing in the family tradition she also refused to go quietly, and did her best impression of a carton of Newport Lights being violated by bull moose.
Looks like the whole family got matching charges of resisting arrest and assault and battery on a police officer for Christmas this year.
She also wisely elected to show up in the comments section after cashing in her food stamps (probably) and getting bailed out of jail.
Sounds like someone’s gonna be calling Attorney Richard N. Vulva for a free consult tomorrow.
Her husband’s real name is Raymond Mcswain, which seems like the kind of name you get when you’re predestined to appear on Turtleboy.
He has a bad habit of driving around Rhode Island without a license.
Ragardless, several members of the “free muh boi” mafia voiced their displeasure with the police, rather than the criminals.
Interesting take Kevin. However, might I suggest that the police officer threw them to the ground like trash, because they are in fact steamy Woonsocket trash? Contrary to popular belief this is not the WWE, and you do not have a right to wrestle the cops once they’ve placed you under arrest. Perhaps next time it would be wiser to just put your hands behind your back.
The cameraman sounds like he’s going places too.
Granted those places are Central Falls and Pawtucket, but they’re still places.
In due time he will see dreams come true.
I for one am shocked that this gentleman is pursuing a rap career. Almost as shocked as I am to see him starting a $4,000 GoFundMe to jumpstart this endeavor, and raise a grand total of $0. People must really believe in him.
The bottom line is, this escapade is exactly why Santa doesn’t come to Woonsocket.
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