Worcester Karens Clutch Pearls, Demand Chris Sale Pay Reparations For Smashing Stuff In Woo Sox Tunnel After Getting Pulled


The biggest non-story of the week this week comes out of Worcester, where Red Sox pitcher Chris Sale got pulled early during a rehab start at Polar Park and ended up taking his frustration out on some stuff in a tunnel.

Oh no, he broke some shit! That poor bulletin board will never be the same.

Chris Sale is the most dominant pitcher the Red Sox have had since Pedro Martinez.

In 2017 and 2018 he was untouchable. He had over 300 strikeouts and almost won the Cy Young in 2017, had an ERA of 2.14 in 2018 and struck out Manny Machado on a bum shoulder to win the World Series.

Chris Sale can break whatever he wants.

Despite being injury prone and closing in on 30 Sale then was offered one of the worst contracts in baseball history, paying him $30 million a year, which he graciously signed. Obviously he was gonna pay to fix whatever he broke because it means nothing to him, and because of all the outrage he was guilted into paying reparations to Worcester as if he committed some crime against the city.

“He better pay for that damage to city property.”

Because the Worcester Red Sox belong to the city and aren’t a private organization owned by billionaires.

But that wasn’t enough for the pearl clutching Worcester Karens, who are very concerned about the example Chris Sale set for the children.

Think about the children! No one on the Red Sox has ever had a tantrum and destroyed MLB property after letting their emotions take over during a game before!

Wait until they find out that in hockey they just let people fight.

There’s no place for hate in Worcester!

It’s those damn 33 year old “young people!”

Others brought up how they wouldn’t be allowed to do this at their office job.

Newsflash skirt man – your job in accounts receivable is not comparable to Chris Sale’s job.

He’s insanely competitive and he knows that he gets paid a lot of money to suck right now, through no fault of his own. His body is breaking down, he’s getting older, and he couldn’t even make it through 4 innings against a bunch of guys who should be selling cell phones at the Auburn mall.

Chris Sale came exactly as advertised. In 2016 as a member of the Chicago White Sox he had a hissy fit over their throwback uniforms and cut them all up with scissors before the game. He came to Boston because he wanted to win and clearly hates losing.

More than anything Chris Sale and this antics are a product of the culture of baseball. It’s why a coach gave him an ass pat on the way out instead of sobbing uncontrollably over the damaged property.

Baseball is a game full of overly dramatic fake tough guys. It’s why no one ever throws punches but everyone loves to run 100 yards from the bullpen like they’re actually gonna do something. It’s why pitchers cowardly whip a fastball at a batter’s face over the slightest perceived disrespect, because they didn’t like the way the batter jogged around the infield after a home run 3 months ago. They take their anger out on things that don’t have a pulse to act tougher than they really are. It’s just part of the game.

Anyone, thoughts and prayers to that bulletin board inside a Triple A tunnel. Concerned Moms of Worcester will be holding a candlelight vigil in its memory scheduled for sometime next week.


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