A Fall River Love Story: Man Sets Off Amber Alert After “Kidnapping” Baby And Baby Mama With Restraining Order On Him Who Willingly Got In Car With His Friend

Editor’s Note: We discussed this story on the Weekend Live Show (1:33:30)


Yesterday the State Police put out an Amber Alert when a baby and her mother were reportedly kidnapped by the child’s father Jeremias Cabral.

Hours later police found them safe in Fall River and arrested Cabral and this man:

The Amish Meth Monkey’s name is Michael Abrantes, and he was the getaway driver. Except there was a twist – the victim (Hannah Benson) says she wasn’t abducted and left with them willingly without being threatened. The Amber Alert was only activated because another man called police to tell them that they were abducted, after the Portuguese Pubestache robbed that man at knifepoint of his cell phone in Dartmouth.



If this isn’t a Fall River lover story I don’t know what is.

Some have suggested that Hannah Benson is only saying that she went willingly because she’s afraid of the Portuguese Pubestache. But she’s no saint herself, and was previously charged with A&B with a dangerous weapon.

Then there’s the fact that she willingly chose to reproduce with this.


She’s not bad looking at all either.

But she’s got a sweet spot for shitbags and makes really poor life decisions, so here we are. She knew exactly the kind of person that the Portuguese Pubestache was because this is hardly his first run in with the law. As a matter of fact, she couldn’t willingly get into a car with him in the first place because she has an active restraining order on him, which to my knowledge has not been reported by any media outlet. In August he was charged with violating that abuse prevention order:

They just had a court date for it on Monday when he got a new court appointed attorney.

He picked up that charge when he was pulled over by the State Police on August 30 in an uninsured, unregistered vehicle, with a violent felon named Adam Torres, and the trooper noticed a knife in between them. The Portuguese Pubestache told the trooper that he probably had a warrant out for his arrest for breaking and entering in New Bedford, and he was detained. He asked the trooper if he could call his girlfriend Hannah, because they just had a baby, and the trooper allowed him to do so. But when the trooper ran his name through the computer an active restraining order came up and the trooper immediately took the phone, since calling her was a violation of said order. Hannah Benson refused to cooperate or identify herself and the Portuguese Pubestache was arrested.

She not only chose to procreate with him, she continued to see him despite having an order, and then refused to cooperate with police. So yea, I find it hard to believe she was forced into that car yesterday against her will.

Jeremias Cabral also was charged with assault in May when he tracked down his father and his father’s new girlfriend while they were driving in Fall River, got out of his car, threatened to slash her “f***ing tires and smash her windows,” before calling her a “cum catcher.”

Would’ve made a much more entertaining wedding toast.

Jeremias (singular) evidently did not like this woman and had threatened to destroy her car previously. When the responding officer called the Portuguese Pubestache he refused to turn himself in and accused the officer of bias because he once tried to file a false police report with the same officer about a stolen ATV that he had actually sold to the person he was accusing of stealing it.

He also had court for that on Monday.

Seems like a stable guy who you’d wanna have a baby with. What could possibly go wrong?


Meanwhile on Facebook he’s been trying to sell his broken down truck, which I’m sure he has properly registered and wouldn’t accuse you of stealing if you paid him for it.

Meanwhile, the Amish Meth Monkey has a couple Google trophies of his own, including assault with a dangerous weapon.

In 2016 he was reported missing somewhere in Florida, but he was probably just smoking crack.

I guess they found him and he made his way back to Fall River where he began a lucrative career selling bootleg/stolen merchandise and Jordan’s on Facebook.

His life philosophy is “if you ain’t got it, go get it.”

Which apparently also applies to babies and women who have restraining orders on his friends.

Not withstanding his current situation, the Amish Meth Monkey is in a fine position to lecture other people how to responsibly parent children.

You can kidnap them, but you don’t you dare smoke with them in the getaway vehicle. A man must have a code.

And this man would never smoke around children.



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