Albert Sardinha From The Portuguese Kids Charged After Breaking Into Woman’s Apartment, Stealing Sex Toy, Despite Only One Date With No Sex


this is Albert Sardinha, one of “The Portuguese Kids,” a popular YouTube comedy group with hundreds of thousands of followers out of the Fall River-New Bedford area.

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The Portuguese Boys do corny Dad joke videos from the perspective of second generation Port-a-geez mocking their old school Port-a-geez first generation parents for not assimilating into American culture after jumping on the Azores expressway to Fall River.

It’s basically the stuff I get criticized for making fun of the Port-a-geez for, except they’re allowed to do it because they are Port-a-geez.

Fap Albert was arrested two weeks ago for a really disturbing crime.

Here’s the Freetown Police report.


  • She went on on one date with him, he got clingy and began sending her graphic sexual messages despite never having sex with him
  • He texted her and said that he knew she was at work, even though she was ignoring him, sent her pictures of her on the job (implying that he was stalking her), and said that he knew her work schedule
  • He broke into her apartment while she was at work (he knew her schedule), but she surprised him after leaving work early after getting sick
  • She hears her door close while ascending the stairs to the third floor and sees him come out of her apartment, at which point in time he tells her that he’s there for closure before running out of the apartment with two bigs filled with unknown items
  • She took a picture of him outside of her apartment door and recorded him fleeing towards his car, which he parked down the street to be inconspicuous
  • When she first got there she heard the door close and saw him standing right outside the door, which means he had to have been inside, and the door was unlocked even though she had locked it
  • The next day she realized an item was stolen, which many are assuming was a dildo
  • She now has a one year restraining order against him, which is pretty hard to get so you know it’s likely all true

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Here’s the really grainy text message he sent her that was included in the police report, that makes him sound so pathetic.

“I had wanted to give you a note I had written what I was trying to say to you. It was clear to me in the last week or so that you wanted to avoid things with me and that you were looking to unfriend me.”

Translation – I know you wanted nothing to do with me, and you made that very, very obvious, but I wasn’t done with you and I get to have the last say. So here’s my stupid note, which I naively assume will somehow get you to realize that you actually screwed up badly by ignoring me, a man who is 16 years older than you.

“I didn’t want to contact you because I felt like it would’ve just prompted you to ignore it.”

Translation – You keep blocking me so I’m just going to show up at your house with a note instead, rather than take a hint and move on.

“I just wanna say a piece of my feeling and leave you alone.”

There is a 0.0% chance he planned on leaving her alone after the note. Guys like this think that life is a Disney movie, and naively believe that women will be so moved by a passionate letter that they’ll run back into their arms.

“It sucked feeling built up for no reason. It hurt.”

Translation – This is mostly your fault.

“My intention was apologize for my end and say I didn’t have hard feelings towards you for leading me on and not being up front about what things were between us.”

Translation – I’m a better person than you are, because even though you’re a horrible person for leading me on, I can still find it in my heart not to hate you.

“I had thought maybe in time we could be friends. That’s what my note was about.”

What kind of psychopath wants to be friends with a woman who is 16 year younger than him, who he went on one date with??!! There was no push-push either. It’s embarrassing being this obsessed with a woman who you haven’t even taken to poundtown. What’s in the box?

Not you.

He claims he dindu nuffin in an interview with the Standard Times.

“We were working on closure.”

No Fap Albert, YOU were working on closure. Any guy who says he needs closure after one date with no push-push is by definition a psychopath.

The intent was indeed to have a conversation, but the problem with that is that she made it clear she didn’t want to have a conversation which is why she blocked him on social media. Take the L and move onto the next one.

And what belongings of her’s could he possibly have? He went on one freaking date!!

After speaking with a source who has been in that building I can say with 100% that there is no “common area” of this building. Plus, the woman downstairs heard him up there at 9 AM when she was at work. If that’s his defense then and the witness testifies in court that she heard footsteps up there at 9 AM, then he needs a new defense.

Also, if he was really innocent then why would he run away, and why would she feel the need to cover for herself by taking pictures of him?

The guy had also been sending her creepy messages about seeing her in the shower and talking about anal sex, even though he had never hooked up with her too. Not a good look for a jury.

One thing I learned with Jasiel Correia is, Port-a-geez people assume that other Port-a-geez people are incapable of committing crimes. It doesn’t matter how much evidence is out there against a person, if they’re Port-a-geez then by definition they dindu nuffin. Check out all this victim blaming .



Medeiros, Ramalho, Gouveia, Silva. Gee whiz, I wonder who those guys root for in the World Cup?

Other women commented that he’d done the same to them too.

Almost as if it’s a pattern.

The Portuguese Kids have released a statement on Facebook announcing that he’s on leave for a while until he can prove his innocence in court.

“We are 100% confident the truth will come out.”

Translation – we think she’s lying and have Albert’s back.

Except she’s got messages, video, pictures, other women with similar stories, and witnesses, and he’s got a story about an imaginary common area. She’s also a well-respected mother who works for a law firm, so good luck in court Fap Albert.


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