With all the tension from the election people needed some ratchetry to rally around and bring us all together, and they found it in the least likely place ever – The Brockton Hub. It began with a simple plea from this woman:
If the Brockton Fair had a face.
She goes by Kitty Johnson on Facebook, and she was concerned that her husband was missing. Naturally then she did what anyone in her position would do – asked strangers on the Brockton Hub to tell Jorts Floyd to come home and get a piece of that sweet Brockton pie.
As you can see he wears a flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat. Sorry to break the bad news to you Kitty, but this guy is knee deep in junkie Brockton stench trench right now and he’s paying them with your food stamps.
In a surprise turn of events no one saw coming she then alleged that Jorts Floyd was actually having a sexual affair with a man named Greg Glass, who she alleged was a “dirty a** b**** thinking he is more than a woman than the real woman in Brockton,” and who allegedly performs sexual acts upon other men in exchange for crack.
If the real housewives of Brockton ever became a TV show, safe to say Kitty Cornrows would be the starring role. Except instead of sitting poolside drinking wine all day, they’d be sitting in the second floor of an overheated section 8 triple decker, fanning each other with their social security checks, and they’d all have the same baby daddy.
However, none of her allegations have been confirmed and Greg Glass appears to be dapper church folk.
Kitty has not confirmed if Jorts Floyd ever came home, but his baby momma named “Shy-town” did show up in the comments to clear up any confusion.
So it turns out they’re only “Kate Peter married,” not real married. In reality Kitty was just a side piece that broke up this fairy tale Brockton couple.
After getting called out for being a melanin magnet home wrecker Kitty Cornrows disappeared off the face of Facebook and a search party has been put together to find her.
If you’ve seen her please have her reach out to us so we can get her on the live show this weekend.
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