Burlington Mall Panhandler Who Falls Asleep With Dunkins Iced Coffee Lodged In Breasts And Her Boyfriend Have Been Lying About Having Kids In Order To Fuel Their Drug Habit


In 2017 we were first introduced to Amber Porter, the most infamous panhandler in Massachusetts, after she fell asleep standing up with a medium Dunkins iced coffee lodged in her breasts. Once we went down the rabbit hole things got more entertaining.

Last week we published this blog about a woman who panhandles outside the Burlington Mall and has a tendency to fall asleep while standing up with a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee lodged in her lactation cannons.

Turtle riders started showing up out of the woodwork with their stories of dealing with this woman. Like this picture of this clearly “hungry” and “starving” plus sized panhandler putting something up her nose inside  Wendy’s for everyone to see.

Others sent us more pictures of her doing what she does best – sleeping on the job.

As well as some other action photos:

Within minutes we had a bunch of people messaging us with a name – Amber Porter, AKA Amber Holly on the Facebook machine.

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Amber doesn’t have time to work, but she has plenty of time to constantly update her Facebook profile picture to another slightly different selfie from the last.

And as you can see, she has plenty of money for the essentials. Like hair dye

Excessive amounts of makeup

Multiple cats

Copious amounts of Wendy’s, and whatever she was putting up her nose inside that Wendy’s.

All the good corners in her hometown of Nashua are apparently taken, so they get in their car (yes, they own a car) and travel to Burlington every day because they’ve done the math and realized that it’s easiest to get money out of people by waiting at a red light that leads to a mall. I say they because there’s two of them (boyfriend and girlfriend) and they’ve been doing this for years. This is Alex Emery from Westford with his boo.

Here he is working his corner, holding a sign about needing money for food for his kids.

Except they don’t have any kids. It’s just a lie to guilt people for drug money. And yes, if you’ve ever given money to any panhandler and thought it wasn’t going directly to Diego the local heroin dealer then you are an idiot.

The picture above set off a woman a couple months back because she either runs or is affiliated with farmer’s market in Tyngsboro, and he is standing on their sign.

This is outside of the Pheasant Lane Mall in Nashua. So they travel back and forth on Route 3, going from mall to mall, holding signs about fake kids in order to fuel their drug habits.

Alex has been working the corners for years. Here’s some posts he made in 2012, whining about people in nice cars who don’t give him money.

Yea, how could you heartless people not give him your hard earned money? This grown man deserves your money because you have more money than he does. Pay for his next batch of heroin or else you’re a heartless.

Hurricane Fupa apparenty did not like the blog we published either, and sent an all time ratchet rant to our Facebook page.

Newsflash Amber – no one cares about your sob story. We all have problems. Deal with it. You weren’t featured in our blog because you were a crackhead. You were featured because you were asleep while panhandling, and you had a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee lodged in your Gerber servers. That in and of itself was too hilarious not to share. No one believes that you’re clean, because if you haven’t used in a year then you wouldn’t be panhandling.

And did I read that right? You’re doing the “right things with your life now?”

Newsflash – you’re holding a sign while passed out high and you treat your breasts like a cupholder. Nothing about that suggests that you’re doing right things with your life.

And you’re right, you do have a weight problem. That’s what makes this whole situation hilarious. You’re allegedly in need, but you clearly have not missed a meal. Ever. But yet somehow you claim to be seeing a doctor about your “problem.” You get government subsidized healthcare, and you’re seeing a doctor about a problem that you could easily fix by exercising and getting a job.


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