Canton Cover-Up Part 295: Turtleboy’s Prison Journals Part 5, Turtleboy Is Coming Home

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Today is my 56th day in jail, and this is the last installment of my Prison Journals. SJC Justice Kafker granted our motion to reduce my time here from 90 to 60 days, but denied our bid to undo the bail revocation entirely. He gave Dedham District Court judge Paul McCallum – the man who revoked my bail and granted a restraining order to a woman who admitted in court to faking a pregnancy to keep me around – a chance to explain in writing why my bail was revoked in the first place. Remarkably McCallum flat out lied to cover his ass, claiming that I assaulted a pregnant woman:


To be clear, Lindsey Gaetani was never pregnant. Not only did she never claim to be in the police report, but if she was pregnant then the Commonwealth would have charged me with assault and battery on a pregnant woman. Yet this hack judge defamed me in writing by saying that she was. He did this because he knew it sounded worse to assault a pregnant woman. He did it because being overruled by the SJC is humiliating, and incarcerating an innocent father of two was a price he was willing to pay to protect his ego.

When I found out we were denied on Day 53, I wasn’t surprised or disappointed. I’m a political prisoner, a dissident, and an enemy of the state – I’m used to being treated as such. At this point, what’s one more week anyway?

I have no choice but to be optimistic because my happiness is my revenge. I have $1300 (thanks guys!) in my Securus account so I decided to watch a bunch of movies on my tablet and read some more books this week. I finally got around to reading 1984, which is yet another book I can relate to. When will I ever have an opportunity to live such a laid-back life again? I have no real obligations here, and if I choose to, I have no stress. When I get out, I won’t have time to do any of these things, so I’m going to take advantage of this unique opportunity and show out all day as my criminal vacation nears its end.

I can taste the end of my journey and have a ton of energy as I think about returning to the world. I’m running 8-9 miles a day now on the basketball court in the morning, followed by 60-70 pullups, a shower, three coffees and Sports Center. At evening rec, I’m doing 600 step-ups and 300 pushups now. I’m in the best shape of my life and coming out of jail mentally and physically stronger than when I went in.

The other day as I was leaving morning rec, I was waiting for a door to open when 20 teenage kids were getting a tour of the jail. I thought it was some scared straight program, but it turns out this was a school field trip. I wanted to yell “Hey Kids! Don’t start a YouTube channel or you’ll end up in here!” or “Tell your parents to like, share, and subscribe”, but I thought better of it. It’s a weird feeling having kids, who look like the ones you used to teach, gawking at you because you’re  a prisoner. Later on, a Turtlerider messaged me and told me that one of their friend’s kids was in that class. They are from Blue Hills Vocational in Canton, and their teacher apparently told them that the guy carrying the bag was Turtleboy. They learned a valuable lesson that day – if you expose corrupt cop-killing scumbags, they can put you in jail because they have all the guns.

I got to watch the Super Bowl until 9:30 pm but didn’t get to see the end. Probably for the better anyway. I can’t stand Patrick Mahomes’ stupid wife or Big Pharma bootleg-Gronk Travis Kelce. None of these Super Bowls should count because the Chiefs didn’t have to go through Tom Brady.

I’m still eating every morsel of food they bring me. The roast beef, chicken salad, pineapples, and especially the chili are the best I’ve ever had. I never ate that stuff prior to going to jail, but being in here has broadened my horizons and I’ll be eating all sorts of fruits and vegetables when I get out of here.

The COs in here have treated me with nothing but respect and dignity. As the days go on, they always ask me how many days I got left because they know the end is coming. A lot of them read the articles and are anxiously awaiting the return of Turtleboy Live on Saturday at 9:00 pm. They’re used to dealing with assholes for the most part, and they know I don’t belong here. They always tell me what an asshole Meatball Morrissey is, what a moron Ken Mello is, and what a vag Chris Albert is. There’s really only one CO who is such a miserable prick, but I won’t be saying his name until I get out of here.

I feel like I didn’t get the full prison experience because I spent the whole time in medical with the nutjobs. The only time I spoke with inmates was when they yelled, “Yo Turtleboy!” and called me to their door. I really wish I got the chance to live in a unit and meet some of these people. Not that I’m looking to make friends, but the content and stories I would have gotten would have been priceless. I realize that most people in here are guilty, but there’s a ton of dudes in here on bail revocations because some crazy bitch says she got hit. I used to assume women wouldn’t lie about something so serious, but now that I’ve seen how easily Lindsey has done this to me and three other guys, I realize that there’s probably a lot of innocent people in here.

As a journalist, it’s a gold mine in here and I would never forgive myself if I didn’t try to interview certain famous defendants. I’m working on one right now but won’t say who until I’m out of here. I have full access to people no other reporter does. Stay tuned.

I can’t thank people enough who messaged me on the Securus app while I was in here. You kept me connected to the outside world and made me feel loved and valued. A lot of bullshit has gone down since I’ve been in and I can’t wait to get back to my role of exposing it.

One thing I won’t have any tolerance for is negativity. Trolls are getting instablocked. “Supporters” who say stuff like, “I love Turtleboy but they’re going to arrest him again” are also getting blocked. Sorry, but it’s for my own mental health. I will not seek out or stay around negativity. You’re more than welcome to post your pessimism in the Justice groups or on your own page, but thinking about horrible stuff like that isn’t good for my mental health. It’s not you, it’s me.

I’m going to see a shrink regularly when I’m out because I’m definitely dealing with some PTSD. I have trouble sleeping and constant nightmares from the anxiety. In the last four months, I’ve been arrested by the Fugitive Unit at my kids’ bus stop, got taken for an emotional roller coaster by a psycho broad, crashed my car on the highway, spent Christmas as a fugitive, and celebrated my birthday by being sent away to jail. This is why I won’t allow any negativity on my timeline moving forward.

I can’t wait for Friday. Right now, the plan is that I will be brought in chains through the back door of Norfolk Superior Court at 7:30 am for a 9:00 am bail hearing. Auntie Bev will reinstate my bail, I will either pay it or get personal recognizance, and then I will walk out the front door a free man. This is a public hearing, and all are welcome to attend.

I’ve been thinking about this day for so long and I’m a little bit nervous about it. I’m going to be overcome with emotion when I taste free air for the first time since December 23, and you might see me cry tears of joy. I can’t wait to get home and surprise my kids, who don’t know I’m coming. I can’t wait to be their dad again. Being away from them and hearing their voices on the phone has been the hardest part of incarceration. I plan on spending all day Friday and Saturday with them, then doing my show Saturday night. I hope to have at least 10,000 live viewers and I’ll be talking about life in jail along with the latest developments in the Karen Read case. I will be revealing things I haven’t had the chance to yet, so you won’t want to miss it. Don’t forget to subscribe by clicking here.



On Monday morning, I have court at Dedham District at 9:00 am in the fake A&B case. I’ll be doing something with the police after that, followed by Karen Read’s huge hearing at 2:00 pm in Norfolk Superior. I will be outside with other supporters well before that, around 12:30 pm.

There’s just so much I want to say, but it’s hard writing it all by hand with bootleg prison pens. So, I’m going to end this here and save the rest for Saturday night. I was put in jail because I was unwilling to bow to a corrupt government I’ve been exposing. It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever been through, but it’s also made me stronger than I’ve ever been. When I get out, I will be the best father, brother, son, and award-winning journalist the world has ever seen. My future is bright, and I know that I’m doing something historic. See you at court on Friday and on your TVs Saturday night!

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