Canton Ratchet Madness 2024 Sweet 16: Whole Internet Region



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Voting is completed in the Chloe Region of Ratchet Madness and we have two more Elite 8 finalists in Ratchet Madness 2024.

Meatball Morrissey vs. Bang-Bang should be an epic matchup. Now it’s time to decide the final 2 ratchets from the Whole Internet Region. You have 24 hours to vote for who should advance.


1. Michael Proctor vs. 4. Helena Rafferty

1. Michael Proctor – Corrupt cop who likes to plant tail light wherever he goes, intentionally misspell the names of witnesses in police reports, lie about his relationship with the McAlberts, and lie about what time he tows cars before blaming it on daylight savings and calling it a scrivener’s error

4. Helena Rafferty – Corrupt police chief who likes to cover up incidents where she runs elderly people over, arrests peaceful protesters, and gives public rants demanding Turtleboy apologize for saying she’s banging Kenny Berkowitz



2. Jill Daniels vs. 11. Brian Higgins

2. Jill Daniels – Spicy sister of Julie Albert who looks like a beat up leather couch, secretly wants to hate fuck Turtleboy despite calling him a looossaahh, turtle douche, and asking for confirmation of awards

11. Brian Higgins – ATF agent who clocked into work at 1:30 after drinking all day, claimed he went to sleep, then said he butt dialed Brian Albert at 2:22 AM while he was sleeping



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Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonetization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the Donation button above if you'd like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy:  Qries
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