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Central Falls is for people who like Pawtucket but don’t think it’s nearly ghetto enough, so street fights like this one posted on Facebook a few days ago are pretty par for the course if you’re driving around the city:
That was a fun one! Let’s go to the tape to see who won.
In Central Falls there is no shit talking or theatrics. Two ratchets see each other walking down the street and they just get right down to business.
They get a couple head shots in at first, no one even attempts to or suggests breaking it up, and soon the ceremonial pulling of the hair began as Meatpie Morales cheered them on.
Chocha Chuck Taylor had some initial success, but Raw Dog Ramirez was skilled in the art of dog walking a bitch, and she ended up getting hoodrat helicoptered into North Attleboro.
But Chucky Chocha never let go of Raw Dog Ramirez’ hair, which enabled her to stay in the fight. By this time we were a good 10 seconds or so into the action which gave the entire neighborhood time to show up and cheer on their favorite fighter, because God knows nobody in Central Falls has to work or go to school. In most societies the adults try to break up fights like this in the middle of the street, but in Central Falls the village elders don’t allow the fight to end until someone permanently damages their ovaries.
It’s unclear what started this fight, but I think we can all agree that the winner received first mating rights with Sweatpants Santana.
And it wouldn’t be a Central Falls street fight if someone didn’t show up in pajamas and slippers carrying an Obamaphone.
In Central Falls adults are required to make sure that other ratchets like Meatpie Morales don’t jump in, which is exactly what Crocs Crispy did.
Meanwhile Chucky Chocha had managed to put Raw Dog Ramirez in a Puerto Rican pretzel for some mid day muff diving.
Remarkably they both got back up and by this point traffic on the street was clogged up, but no one seemed to care because it’s not like people in Central Falls have anywhere to be at a certain time.
Things were starting to escalate with the crowd, but luckily Abuela Venezuela was there to keep anyone else from interfering in this Central Falls mating ritual.
Ultimately Raw Dog Ramirez got the last punch in, which made her the de facto champion.
Raw Dog Ramirez was the one who first posted this glorious video on Facebook, under her pen name Belle Starr.
As you can see, there are only two things she’s allergic to – job applications and birth control.
And when her and her friends get together they’re thirsty for hoodboogers and Hennessy.
When Belle isn’t fighting in the middle of a public street she can be found on Facebook sharing inspirational quotes about “f*** n****s,” two pump chumps, and ass play.
In the comments all the junior hoodrats debated who won this fight, because when you don’t have any life plans stuff like this is really important.
Chucky Chocha goes by Eliany Marie on Facebook, and immediately after the fight was ended she did a quick live stream to show her lack of battle wounds, just in case the ghetto records department said she lost the fight.
Then she went and took some glamour shots along a wooded path where crackheads go to exchange sexual favors for testers of Diego’s new product.
There must be some sort of ghetto algorithm that enables sewer guppies like this to exclusively use Facebook for following and sharing quotes about their carnal desires.
I noticed that Raw Dog Ramirez shared a post about men who try to sext with sisters, and pointed out that this happens with her sisters AND her egg donor.
Jessica Maldonado is her mother, and instead of being ashamed to see her daughter behaving like this she shared the video to express how proud she was of her daughter’s disputed victory.
Meatflaps Moses is everything you imagined she would be and more.
As you can see, she spent her Quinceañera getting train run on her by every guy in Central Falls with a Honda Civic.
Meatflaps Moses has likely never left her block, but why would she? Look how good life is going.
There’s no reason to ever leave a place with a DTA office, corner stores with huge “we accept EBT” signs, and all the Hennessy you can drink!
Not sure which one of her litter of poon polyps that guy is responsible for creating.
But I’m sure he didn’t stick around to raise any of them.
You know life is going well when you’re nodding out for every family photo, and it’s hard to tell which one the mother is.
Jessica Maldonado is a great role model for her children, so it’s surprising they ended up this way. She doesn’t have a job or anything, but she sets a good example by posting on Facebook about her lack of tolerance for hoes, and her insatiable desire to turn her ass into
Of course she also has a plethora of Google trophies too, which includes multiple arrests for contributing to the delinquency of a child under 16.
Don’t worry though, her sentences always get suspended because this is the type of person who just needs a few more chances so they can finish up their junior college degree and become an astronaut.