Dorchester Teenager Microwaves Baby Turtle, Posts About It Several Times On Facebook


Meet Jonasia Simpson, a Dorchester teenager who made her first of many TB appearances to come in 2017 in a SSTG blog.

Last night Jonasia thought it was funny to microwave her baby pet turtle.


Obviously we have a special place in our hearts for our Turtle spirit animals but this would have been bad if it was any living creature.

I’m sorry for having to show you this picture – but the idea that this baby ratchet thought it was okay infuriates me to the point of wanting to punch a wall.

This is what happens when you name your kid after a continent full of tigers and communists.

Only an animal would think this was okay. Was she bored? Go play with your snapchat filters like a good brainless teenager.

Maybe it was a hard lesson and Jonasia had to learn it in order to be remorseful?

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More than like it’s looking more like we have the makings of a hood rat serial killer.

Needless to say, this spread like wildfire, because this deranged child microwaved a Goddamn baby turtle.

Because when word spread about what she had done she actually doubled-down.

I’m very rarely speechless, but here we are.

The mother, who is clearly a trap queen cliche, even posted that they had added the Turtle to the family on April 3rd. Cool. A baby animal lasted less than two months in their house before her kid nuked it. That’s totally normal.

Can we blame psychopathic Jonasia? Or should we be looking at Shanitha Blocker – the woman who bore a child, had nine months to think of a name, and came up with “Jonasia”?

I’m going to guess that this behavior is normal with this family.

Oh good. Your newly teenage daughter buying momma a special bottle of Henny. That says a lot.

Wow, that was a long sentence. She will “KILL A MOTHER F***ER” for her kids. Or a turtle too apparently. I can’t wait to hear Uncle TB reads that on Live Friday.

Well Mom, maybe you should be there more, instead of taking selfies, because, as I’ve mentioned before, your BABY GIRL MICROWAVED A BABY TURTLE.


Awe, a family picture in front of the projects? More kids coming up after Aretha Dahmer? Wow, that’s really exciting. I’m sure glad that she used her EBT cash to buy the poor little turtle guy. I love it when our tax dollars are going to murdered animals and supporting their killers.


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