Drunk Wedding Goers Kick Newport Cops In The Nuts, Try To Steal Their Guns, Then Cry About Brutality 


A wedding party got a little out of hand in Newport over the weekend and turned into an episode of piss-drunk white people gone crazy, as police officers were assaulted by multiple dapper individuals who were denied access to a bar.

The whole thing began when a 44 year old goober by the name of David Onik (from Barrington, RI) was refused entry to the bar, shoved a manager, and attempted to punch a security staff. He is not seen in the video because he’s already been detained. I can’t find any social media accounts for this winner, but he has been a certified jagoff since his 2011 Porsche meets stone wall DUI arrest:

A Barrington man, 32, faces drunk-driving charges after he drove his Porsche through a stone wall at 700 Maple Ave. near Middle Highway late Sunday night and then left the scene of the accident. David K. Onik of Barrington Avenue hit the wall at approximately 10:21 pm, according to police. He backed his vehicle off the wall and onto the street and then drove home, police said. Onik and his passenger, Rachel Onik, were not injured. Onik was charged by police with DUI first offense, refusing to submit to a chemical test, refusing to submit to a preliminary breath test, failure to maintain proper control of his motor vehicle, failure to file an accident report and laned roadway violations. Police said Onik initially said he hit a wall off of Route 195 after being cut off by another vehicle while driving home. He later admitted that he was driving while under the influence of alcohol.

Stonewall Ango-Saxon’s wife Rachel is one of the nudniks in the video who f***ed around and found out too. You can see this particular snatch serpent arguing with the cop in the beginning of this bodycam video. When she’s told to push back she trips over the cobblestone, falls on her ass, and that’s what started the mini-riot.

The first video begins with Rachel Onik (black dress) on the ground after being pushed away from her degenerate husband by the cops. The wine spritzer wench brigade then decided it was time to go full hoodbooger and start pushing back on the cops. That’s when Nancy Nutcracker (orange dress) decided it would be a wise idea to kick a cop in the balls and see how that played out.

Luckily for her some shmuck from her tennis club got between her and the cops and he ended up taking the brunt of it.

Her name is Alexandra Flaherty, a 31 year old from Marshfield. There is one person on Linkedin who matches that profile – a psychometrist (who has since taken her LinkedIn down, so it’s definitely her), mental health associate, and former employee of the Dedham Public Schools.

She’s been charged with assaulting a police officer for that kick, and a couple more that came afterwards.

That’s when Preppy Le Pew decided that it was time to go full gangsta and began throwing haymakers at the police. The first one caught a cop right in the face, but the second one inadvertently knocked out one of his comrades in the white dress.

His name is Robert Nash (30) from Marshfield, and like the rest of them he seems to be invisible on social media. Nancy Nutcracker is apparently his girlfriend, and for her birthday he wanted to pick up some matching charges, because he’s also facing a count of A&B on a police officer.

While Preppy Le Pew was wrestling on the ground with the cops Nancy Nutcracker came back to his aid and did the only thing she knew how to do – kick the cops in the nuts without shoes on.

Finally they were able to detain Preppy Le Pew, when it appeared as if one of the cops violently slammed an innocent woman to the ground.

That’s the snatch serprent Rachel Onik, and immediately the cries of police brutality went out the second her head smashed into the ground. Unlike John O’Keefe she managed to avoid a 2.5 inch laceration to the back of the head and German shepherd bites. That only happens on grass.

But a different angle shows that the snatch serpent was repeatedly trying to take the gun out of a police officer’s holster before getting EXACTLY what she deserved.

Pro tip – don’t try to take a gun out of a cop’s (or anyone’s) holster if you don’t expect to knocked out.

Also, if you see your friends kicking police officers in the nuts and throwing haymakers at them, it’s best to try to stop them, instead of yelling at the police and preventing them from making lawful arrests. Two other women named Olivia Costello (20 year old from Milton), and Kylie Swain (28 year old from Weymouth) didn’t get that memo and both caught their own charges for simple assault and battery.

I’m being told that Kylie Swain was the bride, which makes this story even better.

Somehow 20 year old Olivia is the only one who seems to have a Facebook account.

Mom’s gonna be so proud.

The smartest guy was the dude in the foreground of that photo.

He was the one who held back Nancy Nutcracker and got dragged down by the cops. But he avoided punching them and managed to avoid walking out of there without bracelets on.

Anyway, this is not an example of police brutality like people initially thought it was. This is a bunch of drunken, entitled douchebags who apparently think it’s OK to go around kicking cops in the balls and trying to steal their guns. They’re lukcy they didn’t get shot, and I wouldn’t feel bad for any of them if they did. I’m with the police on this one.


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