The summer wouldn’t be complete if we didn’t have at least one more Six Flags New England brawl. Here’s the context of this week’s ratchet rumble.
Context: My kid’s third in line at Dippin’ Dots ice cream booth in 95 degree heat. I go over to see what’s taking so long and the person working the booth is gone. Apparently a person’s credit card (guy in red tank top) was declined and booth employee went to find a manager as he walked away to possibly get another form of payment. Red tank top guy returns and the couple that was next in line start arguing with him that he cut the line (mind you, there is only a total of four people in line). Words exchange with the husband, then the wife calls the guy in the red tank top the “n” word. Guy in red tank top and husband grab each other and look like they are about to fight. Guy in red tank top takes the first swing and pops the husband in the face. Wife then swings at the guy in the red tank top and he pops her in the face. Several people witness this in shock and start to attack the guy in the red tank top. Guy in the red tank top looks like an MMA fighter and is just clocking numerous guys and barely getting hit. This is where I started recording the video.
Original couple in line is the girl with the grey t-shirt with the Super Mario graphic print and the guy in the white tank top with the backwards Dodgers cap.
(Click here if the video doesn’t embed)
And that right there is why I go to Canobie Lake Park.
The whole fam got beat up by a dude in flip flops because they wouldn’t let him run to get cash after already ordering his Dippin Dots. And it’s always the chick who writes the check that her man has to cash. Usually when I see these kind of videos I have a hard time figuring out who’s on who’s side. But in this case red tank top bro was literally all by himself, and he got the festivities started with an open hand slap to the face.
Then Munchkin Martinez had to insert herself into it by trying and failing to hit him repeatedly, as he threw her to the side like a matador.
He definitely connected at one point, but guess what? She earned that Greg Hardy. These little hoodrat passarounds think they can go around hitting dudes, and then when they get hit back the whole crew starts yelling about “he hit a female.” And? Welcome to gender equity 101.
Eventually it did end up in a ratchet pretzel on the ground, which is when the chick who started it all came over and got her kicks in.
Meatball Morales yelled out in triumph as Munchkin Martinez gave red tank top the reach around, and the “security” guard who looks like he just left an AA meeting stood by and did absolutely nothing.
Meatball Morales wanted a piece of him, but he was unfortunately sidelined by his arch-nemesis – gravity. He gave the crowd a full moon on the way out though.
Later we found out that pretty much everyone but red tank top was there with their spawn, who will now grow up thinking it’s normal to get into brawls at Six Flags.
And in quite possibly the most Springfield move of all time the guy who had his girlfriend do his fighting for him gave his flat brim to his boy to wear while he fought, which is completely normal for them. .
Because you can be a horrible Dad, but you can’t let the flat brim get dirty.
I kind of feel bad for the guy. This is what he has to go home to.
Yikes! No wonder he mad.
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