It wouldn’t be the 4th of July in Fall River without a woman being shot while she was filming a group of feral hoodboogers who were trying to jump her family before being driven off by a woman named Crystal with a shovel.
Watch here it it didn’t embed.
Can we just take a moment to appreciate how grizzled a woman is if she films herself getting shot, keeps the camera rolling for 3 minutes after the fact while screaming in pain, then posts it on social media like it’s just another day in the hood?
“They shot my mu-thuh.”
That is the most Fall River thing I’ve ever seen.
It began when the JC Penny Crime Family showed up in their formal Jordans, skinny jeans, and ski masks, and tried to jump Cracker Barrel Daryl.
Cracker Barrel Daryl wasn’t the least bit fazed by them and was ready for some action. Luckily for him no punches were landed because Shelly Shovel showed up in her sports bra and the JC Penny Crime Family scattered like their parents do at the sight of a job application.
This is iconic.
Old Man Marley didn’t have half the street cred that Shelly Shovel now has.
Somehow in the mix “they got Chahhh-ley,” so Shelly Shovel had no choice but to go on a rescue mission. At that point you could hear and see the police sirens so you assumed it would all die down. But when Lisa the camerawoman followed along to document what was happening she immediately got shot. And of course she was only wearing one flip flop while walking down a needle filled Fall River street because anyone who’s grown up in Fall River already has immunity to hepatitis.
Turns out she was shot multiple times.
A Fall River woman has been wounded in a July 4 shooting in the city, according to a spokesperson from the Fall River Police Department. Sergeant Moses Pereira confirmed that the woman was seriously injured in the incident, but her injuries are not life-threatening. Officers responded to the 200 block of Buffinton Street at around 11:40 p.m. on July 4 for a report of shots fired in the area.
They arrived to find the 51-year-old female victim suffering from multiple gunshot wounds, according to Pereira. He said that although she was alert, the woman was bleeding heavily from a possible arterial wound to her left arm. Officer Glenn Souza applied a tourniquet to control her blood loss, and the victim was rushed to Rhode Island Hospital with severe injuries. Pereira said witnesses told the officers they heard a loud argument in the street just moments before hearing the gunshots. Major crimes detectives are investigating the incident, and Pereira said they are continuing to put the pieces together.
I’ll tell you what would’ve prevented this from happening – more gun laws. Because I’m sure these upstanding citizens who are so good at aiming that they accidentally hit the camerawoman instead of Shovel Shelly acquired their guns legally.
Anyway, they don’t know who these winners are, so if you recognize any members of the JC Penny Crime Family please feel free to reach out on Facebook at Clarence Woods Emerson, or email [email protected].