Politics

Final Democratic Debate Live Blog, Round 6,000

 

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10:54 – Alright guys, it’s been real but this is just way too boring for me. I can’t fake it anymore. These people are all very, very lame, no energy, Jeb proteges. I feel great about November. See ya tomorrow!

 

10:50 – The fact that the first thing that democrats bring up when they mention “black issues,” is police brutality, seems a bit racist, no? Like the only thing black people have to worry about is how they’re going to be treated when they break the law. Do they ask that question about any other race? Do they not realize that millions of black people are worried about the same basic shit that white people are?

 

10:47 – This is boring as shit. I’ve never checked out of a debate early, but I’m seriously considering it now. What a massive disappointment this has been. Truly dreadful without Marianne Williamson.

 

10:41 – “I would go to the black and brown communities where they can’t breathe the air or drink the water.” – Tom Steyer.

This guy couldn’t make it more obvious that he’s never been to a black neighborhood in his life.

 

10:39 – Tom Steyer is really up here bragging about a petition drive to impeach Donald Trump. Bruh, I’ve started Change.org petitions too. Shockingly it hasn’t done much to get my Facebook page back.

 

10:36 – The big knock on Mitch McConnell from the left is that he’s already said he’s voting against conviction of Trump. Is there any doubt how Warren, Klobuchar, and Bernie will be voting? Do you think that they’re going into this with an unbiased attitude? Come on now.

 

10:33 – Joe Biden has to be shitting his pants about impeachment. All of his scumbag son’s antics are gonna be aired in front of millions of people, and it won’t matter for Trump because all it’s gonna do is keep him in office and help his poll numbers. He is the biggest loser in the impeachment sham.

 

10:28 – “I was one of the people talking about a wealth tax a year and a half ago.” – Tom Steyer

Yea dude, but you got rich a long time before that so…..

 

10:27 – Literally nobody uses the term “Mommas,” except for Elizabeth Warren. She is insufferable, and thus has to use it every time she refers to mothers.

 

10:26 – What kind of rich people go to the library anyway? Who comes up with these fantasy scenarios?

 

10:25 – This Des Moines Register reporter just asked Mayor Pete why he thinks rich people shouldn’t get free college when they already get to use libraries for free. Girl, what the fuck is wrong with you? Because college costs like $200,000 now, and libraries are just sitting there already.

 

10:24 – Nobody is better than cutting himself off when his time is up than Joe Biden. Nobody.

 

10:22 – I understand that copays and whatnot are a little bit out of control, but where are all these people walking around without healthcare? I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who just doesn’t have ANY insurance. Are these people real?

 

10:20 – How long until Elizabeth Warren mentions the $50 a semester she paid to go to community college? She tells that story every fucking time. That and references to her “Aunt Bee” who probably wasn’t real anyway.

 

10:14 – “Corporations are running the system.” – Tom Steyer

Dude, you’re polling at 1% and you’re only on the stage because you ran a multi billion dollar corporation. How is NOBODY on the stage calling out this fraud? It’s so easy.

 

10:12 – There are three US Senators on the stage right now and next week the impeachment trial of President Trump begins. Yet not a single question has been raised about impeachment because they know it’s a losing issue.

 

10:08 – Hot take alert:

Yea, that’s the reason why people are skeptical of her – sexism. Has nothing to do with the fact that she lied for years about being a Native American. Nothing at all.

 

10:06 – Has the audience clapped once tonight? I know that people in Iowa are probably pretty dull in general, but again, you couldn’t puss less exciting people on the stage if you tried.

 

10:02 – These debates will be so much better when AOC finally runs for President. Obviously I can’t stand her, but she is by far the most entertaining democrat I’ve ever seen. Everything she says is hilarious.

 

9:59 – If Obamacare was so great then why do these people all want to get rid of it and start from scratch? Am I missing something?

 

9:56 – Bernie just said that Medicare for all will save us all money on healthcare by raising taxes by 4%. Oh good, they want to raise my taxes so every ratchet and degenerate can get it for free. Sounds great, sign me up.

 

9:47 – HHAHAHHAHAHAH!! Amy Klobuchar listing off all the women who have won elections, couldn’t even remember the first name on her list. Ya know, what’s her name. Kelly?

 

9:46 – “The only people who have won every single election are the women.”

Bitch, you live in Massachusetts. Literally ANYONE not named Martha Coakley can win in Massachusetts if they have a D next to their name. Amy Klobuchar lives in Minnesota. Try moving to Indiana and running statewide like Mayor Pete and see how that goes. What a dishonest fraud.

 

9:44 – Hate to defend Bernie here, but Pocahontas is clearly lying about him saying that a woman can’t be President. Clearly. This is a woman who lied for years about being a Native American. The idea that she has any shred of credibility is laughable.

 

9:42 – Tom Steyer just said that he wouldn’t sign a deal that would help American workers if it hurt the “climate.” That should go over well in Michigan, where I know people are VERY worried about “climate,” and not their jobs.

 

9:40 – Contrast this debate to the Republican debates in 2015-16. There is ZERO energy from the people on stage and in the crowd. Those debates were must see TV. Tons of fun. This is the most boring shit I’ve ever seen. We’re talking about farmers in Iowa right now. There is nothing more dull than this.

 

9:38 – Holy shit, Bernie and Biden are so old. I can’t believe these are the 2 leading contenders. I really thought it was gonna be Pocahontas, but I underestimated just how dreadful she is. This is really the best they could put up?

 

9:36 – Amy Klobuchar represents Landon Steel’s home state. Just send that guy to the Middle East and Iran will think twice about ever fucking with us again.

 

9:35: Do debates really matter? Donald Trump, from any objective standard, got smoked in the debates vs. Hillary.

 

9:33 – “Climate change is the greatest threat facing this climate.” – Bernie Sanders

So if that’s true, why aren’t we invading China? If they’re literally killing us with unregulated carbon emissions, why are we just sitting here? It’s almost as if they don’t actually believe it’s an “existential crisis.”

 

9:31 – This moderator is from the Des Moines Register. Remember when they publicly shamed a kid who raised millions of dollars for a children’s hospital by brining up old tweets from 8 years ago? Good times.

 

9:30 – Joe Biden has yet to say something insanely stupid yet. Only a matter of time. I just couldn’t imagine this guy being President. Every day would be an adventure.

 

9:28 – Side note – Donald Trump named Mike Bloomberg “Mini Mike B,” which I would argue is the best name he’s ever given anyone. How is he not on the stage over Tom Steyer?

 

9:24 – Americans like positivity. Turn on the Trump rally and everyone’s laughing and having a good time as the President cracks jokes and brags about how awesome things are. Turn on this debate and the sky is falling. People aren’t buying this.

 

9:22 – Elizabeth Warren is against war. Can’t say I blame her. Bad memories of Little Big Horn.

 

9:20 – Joe Biden sounds a lot like George W. Bush. Dude really wants to keep troops in the Middle East. Too bad Corn Pop isn’t around. No way Iran would fuck with that dude.

 

9:18 – Corey Booker was doing some whining today about a lack of diversity on the stage tonight. Yea dude, maybe just like, no one likes your virtue signaling fake feminist bullshit? Maybe.

 

9:15 – I forgot how boring these people are when they’re not talking about transgender abortions.

 

9:10 – I hate most of these people, but I have a special hatred for Tom Steyer. Everyone I hear his stupid voice on my TV, which is hundreds of times a day, I want to scream. How in the hell can any democrat look at this billionaire who bought his way onto the stage, with his stupid fucking belt, and say, “this is the guy?”

 

9:07 – “Donald Trump is leading us towards another war.” – Amy Klobuchar.

What are these people smoking? We killed a terrorist, they responded by a symbolic missile miss, and instead shot down a plane full of Canadians. How the hell is that leading to a war? There’s no way they actually believe this.

 

9:04 – How are we 5 minutes into this thing and they haven’t asked Bernie if he thinks a woman can be President? CNN broke that story. Guess they didn’t really care after all.

 

9:00 – Not sure what’s a worse idea – having this debate on the night of a Trump rally, or not inviting the most likable candidate – Andrew Yang.

 

 

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