Yesterday we published a blog about a Hanson woman who was arrested for slashing multiple people in a Best Western Parking lot, after she and the man she was fornicating with were told to “get a room” because they were so loud in the backseat of their car.
All the good ones are taken. Sigh.
What seemed to be unfair was the fact that her mate did not have his mugshot published by any media outlet, despite the fact that he was also arrested for brandishing a knife and starting a fight in the first place. He thought so little of this woman that he drove several towns away from Hanson in order to make whoopee outside of a place where you can pay to make whoopee as loud as you want on an actual bed, and chose to do the deed in his car instead. He’s that cheap.
And let’s take a moment to give the victim a round of applause for his “get a room” comment that led to this whole thing happening. It’s a common phrase that many of us jokingly have used when we see friends or family exhibiting public displays of affection that make us uncomfortable. But to be able to deliver it outside of a place that sells rooms? You wait your whole life for an opportunity like that, and then you get slashed with a firehead with a machete for it.
Since the media won’t publish Sean Perry’s mugshot, we’ll publish his Facebook pictures instead.
That is what Julian Edelman would look like if he caught charges instead of footballs.
Yesterday we found a Facebook page with the same name as the woman in the mugshot (Allison Maitland), but we couldn’t definitively say that this was her, since it looks almost nothing like her.
The Ware Police Department has shown me how much a post-heroin binge mugshot can alter the way a person looks, but this woman looks like she was hanging out with MaCaulay Culkin in My Girl.
As it turns out this was actually her. Show your kids this blog if you ever think they’re doing drugs.
Underneath the profile picture above (which was taken LESS THAN A YEAR AGO!!) some poor guy named Jesse gets rejected propositioning her.
Hitting rock bottom is when you get denied by a woman who brings a machete with her and slashes people with it for interrupting a love making session with bootleg Julian Edelman in the Best Western Parking lot.
Pray for Jesse.
Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: