Lowell Fentanyl Dealing Stripper Complains That Her Dad Had To Bail Her Out Of Jail After Drug Bust, Vows Revenge On Man Who Jumped Her With His Mother


This is Roxanne “Lala” Ramos from Lowell.

She is easily one of the top 10 most grizzled boriquas ever to be featured on Turtleboy, and has worked at pretty much every strip club in New England.

She’s also a notorious drug dealer who’s done a few stints in MCI Framingham, and was arrested over the weekend for selling fentanyl.

An investigation into drug activity in Lowell’s Back Central neighborhood led to the arrest of a city woman who police said was allegedly in possession of crack cocaine and fentanyl packaged for sale and $8,129 cash. Roxanne “Lala” Ramos, 39, was allegedly found with the drugs and cash after she was observed conducting a drug sale in the 100 block of Gorham Street as police conducted surveillance of the area on May 26, according to police reports available in court documents.

Court documents state that a detective with the Lowell Police Department Special Investigation Section was focusing his surveillance in and around Jay’s Food Store, at 166 Gorham St. The detective said in court documents that Jay’s has become “inundated with narcotics users resulting in a high volume of calls including medical overdoses, assaults (involving weapons), fights and drug activity.”

As the detective kept an eye on the area, court documents state he observed Ramos involved in a drug transaction as she sat in a vehicle parked near Jay’s. According to court documents, police had previously received information from multiple sources who accused Ramos of distributing narcotics in the area. After allegedly confirming the drug sale by confronting the buyer, court documents state that police pulled over the vehicle operated by Ramos on Central Street and took her into custody without incident.

During a search, court documents state that police allegedly found Ramos in possession of 51 individually tied baggies containing a total of 17 grams of crack cocaine, and 20 individually tied baggies containing a total of 7 grams of fentanyl. The $8,129 cash allegedly found in Ramos’ purse was in various denominations and was seized by police as proceeds from drug distributions, according to court documents. Ramos was arraigned in Lowell District Court by Judge John Coffey on May 27 and held on $2,500 cash bail. She is scheduled to return to court on June 23.

Court documents state Ramos has served 21 months behind bars for previous drug distribution charges.

Does this look like the kind of woman who has any desire to stop selling fentanyl as soon as she’s released from prison for selling fentanyl?

What are her other options besides becoming a CNA or Herbalife salesman?

Even though she has a plethora of homies who could bail her out of jail, it was her pa dukes who ultimately ended up paying the $2,500 bond, and she voiced her displeasure that it came to that on Facebook.

I’m just as shocked as you are that the fentanyl saleswoman and retired daytime stripper from Lowell knows who her father is. But at the same time the Bizcocho Biznatch’s reliance on men to get her out of jail seems to go against her creed – “don’t need no n***a no bish I got me 100 emoji.”

Despite being let down in her time of need there were still eligible bachelors like Benny Drizzle who let it be known that they were attempting to holla at her.

No offense Benny, but the Bizcocho Biznatch would eat you for lunch.

Her Facebook page is a ratchet cornucopia. She likes to show off her knife and axe collection.

Just in case she has to force a confession out of one of Diego’s underlings for selling crack cocaine in her territory.

She got no respect for “PC n words” on the sex offender registry who tried to “be blood” back in the day.


At least 75% of her friends are dead and buried wearing flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hats, and the other 25% are currently incarcerated or are recovering from drive by shootings that she vows to avenge.

She constantly seems to get the crap kicked out of her, but isn’t the least bit fazed by it since she grew up taking baths in the Merrimack River.

One time this n word AJ was calling her a ho and wouldn’t get out of her chair, so him and his mother Dee beat the crap out of her and took her package of fentanyl, leaving her with broken ribs, black eyes, and 21 stitches.

She’s good now though.

Another time she beat up a homeless man by the name of Bebo and his prostitute girlfriend Skylar Nieves, but they got the last laugh because they spit in her mouth and dumped a gallon of milk on her head, which gave her a new strain of COVID despite being fully vaccinated.

She might be a gang banging drug dealer, but she’s also vaccinated which makes her a better person than you.

Turns out Bebo tried purchasing fentanyl with funny money, which is why she had to teach him a lesson in the first place. And after they baptized her in COVID and AIDS she called up her homies to finish them off.

Bizcocho Biznatch and her homie Richie got shot 5 combined times and now he’s in a wheelchair, so naturally then she was so attracted by his ride or die nature that she jumped his bone and made him her boyfriend.

All you have to do to make the Bizcocho Biznatch moist is get shot 4 times and spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair. If that’s not a Lowell love story I don’t know what is.

Luckily for Richie she scissored with a 14 year old Cambodian girl and has been swimming in the lady pond AND the Bay of Boners ever since. Her special bisexual powers allow her to climax both inside and outside prison walls, which is great because she plans to spend a lot of time there in the future.

Her man has to accept the fact that she’s a carpet munching expert, which shouldn’t be a problem since she’ll let him throw it in too.

She has no time for Ashley the neighborhood thot who her and wheelchair Richie smashed, when Ashley made the false claim that Lala said she was a hooker.

Serious stuff.

Despite getting beat up by men on the regular she makes it clear frequently on Facebook that she will in fact knock a n word out if they disrespect her and/or don’t get her that paper.

As the queen bad bitch of Lowell, Lala knows that people will always be taking shots at her.

But when you come at the queen you best not miss.


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