Ludlow Man Arrested For Shooting In Monson Strip Club Parking Lot Has Colorful Facebook Posts Indicating Bright Future

 

Last week the Monson Police Department posted on Facebook about the Magic Lantern strip club refusing to cooperate in regards to a shooting that occurred there.

A shooting in which apparently nobody was shot. Side note – I’d love to hear more about what the Magic Lantern’s “membership” packages contain. I’m sure it’s disease free.

I feel like strippers have been the forgotten people of the pandemic. These are hard working single moms trying to put themselves through community college who make most of their money off lap dances. For years they were allowed to spread hepatitis and crabs, but then along came a virus with a 99.9% recovery rate and suddenly it was a health hazard to pay $200 for a happy ending from the GED express in a backroom.

The fact that the Magic Lantern isn’t cooperating about a shooting that occurred there is the least surprising news ever. After all, this is the same place that hired legendary Springfield ratchet Princeza Aponte and put this sign up outside their business.

Chances are whoever was poppin off that night was a big spender and they can’t afford to lose a customer like that in a COVID economy. Memberships don’t sell themselves. Unfortunately for them the police found out who it was on their own, and he looks exactly how you imagined he would.

WWLP: A Ludlow man was arrested in connection with a shooting that took place at the Magic Lantern in Monson on February 21. According to the Monson Police Department, 25-year-old Ethan Fitzgerald was arrested near his home in Ludlow on Monday. Monson Police obtained a warrant for Fitzgerald’s arrest as a result of the investigation. He is facing the following charges:

• Possession of ammunition without an FID/LTC
• Discharging a firearm within 500 feet of a dwelling
• Discharging a firearm within 150 feet of a highway
• Disorderly conduct

Around 2:00 p.m. that Sunday, officers received information that there had been a shooting at the business around 1:00 a.m. from customers who were there when the shooting happened. A preliminary investigation determined that a series of shots were fired in the parking lot of the business. Officers recovered a number of spent bullet casings. No victims have come forward or have been identified. Fitzgerald was held on $100,000 bail pending his arraignment in the Palmer District Court. The Monson Police Department, Ludlow Police Department, Hampden County Special Response Team, Ware Police Department and the Massachusetts State Police Detective Unit all assisted with the arrest.

I don’t need to see or read anything about Bubba Marx here to know that he says the n word A LOT! You can tell just by looking at the overgrown asymmetrical pube farm he’s cultivating on his face.

A quick glance at his Facebook page shows that he checks all the ratchet boxes too. Copious amounts of Henny?

Check.

Openly selling mid-grade marijuana with a catchy name to make it sound less mediocre?

Check.

Hardo post dump bathroom pictures?

Check.

Gang signs and the flashing of upwards of $300 at a time in a vain attempt to show the world the enormity of his success?

Check.

Goes to county jail in Ludlow so often that he just refers to it as “The Low” and all of his friends instantly know what he’s referring to?

Check.

Growing out his neckbeard in an attempt to fit in with the Nation of Islam once he’s behind bars?

Check.

Pretending to shoot guns with the his homies?

Check.

Gang signs with special friends, featuring middle fingers, jorts, RIP muh dawg t-shirts, Henny, and the official hat of hoodboogers everywhere?

Check.

RIP t-shirts that featured deceased friends wearing flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hats?

Check.

Bubba Marx is a true G because he’s the only guy who gets arrested for a shooting at a strip club in which nobody got shot. He just wanted to send a message to all the gangstas in Ludlow that he has a gun and he knows how it functions. Now he’ll be telling war stories to his cellmates about that time he discharged an illegal firearm in an empty strip club parking lot on Route 20 and hoping that they let him convert to Islam so he can keep saying the n word without fear of retribution.

 

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