For SSTG’s unfiltered blog on this topic, complete with noodz, click here to read it on TBS.
This is Henry “Nacho” from the show Wahlburgers.
The Wahlberg brothers used him much like the crew of Jackass used Phil – for comic relief. He’s the guy who would put anything into his body, because when you’re this unhealthy what does it really matter?
“What started as a bet to eat an enormous bowl of grated cheese grew into an ever-increasing array of challenges, including whole lobsters in the shell, golf divots, sour milk, and pint-sized bottles of hot sauce. Living by the mantra, ‘Cash is king,’ Nacho will eat anything for the right price,” his A&E bio states.
Eventually this act got old and Nacho was written off the show, despite the Change.org petition that was created to bring him back. The tattoo is forever though.
I remember that time I got a tattoo of my friend on my arm. Oh wait, that’s just something you do if you’re a fan boy. My mistake.
Sure, Marky Mark brought him on Kimmel in 2012.
But that was back when the TV show was still a thing. Now Nacho is out of the spotlight which is why he’s reduced to posting videos on Facebook, threatening me on behalf of Kathryn “Failure Swift” Narcisi, because I’m allegedly a bully.
You haven’t really made it in life until a D List celebrity on the verge of a massive coronary heart attack threatens to come to your house on behalf of a mentally unstable scam artist who’s suing you in federal court.
“Turtleboy, listen dude, I don’t know who you are but cyberbullying, ya know, you’re gonna hurt someone’s feelings.”
What planet am I living on where feelings matter? How did this become a thing?
Question – did Failure Swift think about Metro’s feelings when she degraded, humiliated, and emasculated him by posting a video of her latest husband in his underpants on Facebook?
Did she think about the feelings of the staff at Kent Hospital who she slandered in her video?
Did she think at all about the damage she’s doing to her two daughters by forcing them to call multiple men “Dad?” Did you think about what it does to them psychologically to watch them constantly call the police, get in ugly fights with her many husbands, and isolate them from kids their own age? Did she think about them at all when she repeatedly dragged her children into this dumpster and made up blatant lies that people are threatening to rape them? He obviously doesn’t know her as well as he thinks he does.
“See this face?”
“You’re not gonna like it when it’s knocking on your door.”
Good luck getting up my steps. If you make it to the top I’ll give you $5.
“She’s a sickly woman and you keep on harassing her. Heed my warning – leave the girl alone.”
No, she’s not. And we had no intention of blogging about her, but she keeps coming to our page and providing us with content, so what are we supposed to do?
You don’t like it? Change the channel.”
Here’s an idea – maybe Kathryn should change the channel away from Turtleboy. Because she keeps coming to our pages, reading our blogs, listening to our podcasts, leaving asinine comments using her real name and various aliases, and pursuing this ridiculous lawsuit in the first place.
“Do not pick on innocent people and women.”
Oh look, it’s the white knight defender of women, here to save a poor innocent woman who’s plotting to steal her husband’s house. Click here to see a picture of him grabbing two women by the bare buttocks who clearly think that they have to let him do it because he’s friends with Marky Mark.
“Put your real name out there.”
I did. Buy my book.
“I heard you have a radio show on WRKO. Guess who’s gonna make some phone calls?”
I was on the Kuhner Report twice in the last two weeks and I’m speaking at a rally at the Statehouse on Saturday at 9:30. Guess that means I work for WRKO now, so he’s going to harass them. Another productive day for nacho.
“You wanna be known as a blogger? Blog about something positive.”
Exposing people who use mobs to attack doctors and nurses is something positive.
“What you hear from other people, it’s hearsay. Smarten up!”
You’re literally repeating something you heard from a mentally unbalanced lunatic, but OK.
Anyway, if Nacho wants to come on the live show so we can explain to him the whole story, instead of whatever lies she’s told him, we’d love to have him. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can make that happen.
Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: