This is Joe Milici, a financial advisor at New Canaan Group in Connecticut.
He’s also worked at Equitable Advisors and AXA Advisors, and works primarily with teachers on their life insurance and wealth management strategies.
Joe is a big fan of Wayne Gretzky cliches, since obviously he’s killing it and scores at will.
He’s not all business though. When Joe isn’t in the office he like to play, and is quite the fancy boy.
He frequently uses phrases like “Gucci vibes only” in case you you thought he got his vibes from the discount rack at Marshall’s.
He enjoys clubbing with the boys at places that require you to sip on fruity drinks while wearing sports jackets with no ties.
But what he really likes is a romantic evening at home by himself, getting toasty by the fire while wearing bowling shoes.
Joe uses dating apps such as Bumble to meet girls, and as you can see they should consider themselves fortunate to be matched with such a winner. He has little tolerance for any woman with the audacity to turn down a chance to pleasure his wu tang spam. He recently met a woman on there who he began texting with. When she became disinterested and blocked him he couldn’t understand how any woman could possibly say no to this.
Doesn’t she see that he makes money, goes to the gym, and knows his way around an Instagram filter?
Instead of just moving onto the next chick in the rolodex ill Douchie Guuci got on this work account number listed on his business page and began to harass the woman for having the nerve to block him.
How dare you not follow through on your plans to take a ride on his carrot parkway! Do you understand how long the line of women waiting to get a piece of this is?
No one has the right to change their mind with ill Douchi Gucci. Once you say you’re gonna give him access to the bone zone, you’re pot committed.
He couldn’t just let her go though. Instead he had to tell her how fat she was, and said that he would’ve kicked her out of his apartment after having sex with her, so that she’d realize what an opportunity she missed out on. Also you’re poor.
She’s so vile, fat and disgusting that he planned on having sex with her during the middle of the day, because he gets the fatties in for the lunchtime special, and saves the dimes for primetime.
The woman’s reply messages were deleted, but here they are in case there’s any doubt who the bad guy is here.
Imagine thinking a complete stranger owes you an explanation for why they changed their mind about sleeping with you. I reached out to Joe for comment to see if he’d like to share hit side of it but he responded by blocking me. If he changes his mind he’s free to email [email protected] and we can arrange for him to come on the Live Show for ratchet redemption.