This is Christian Silvestri, the owner of Rabia’s Dolce Fuma Boston, an Italian restaurant in the North End.
If the North End had a face.
Christian is a Golden Guido, a force to be reckoned with, and the official leader of the anti-lockdown resistance militia. His restaurant proudly lets people do whatever they want to do, which he often explains in colorfully worded Facebook posts.
He’s made a series of videos that I couldn’t stop watching today, and he articulates the thoughts of many restaurant and small business owners who have watched as tyrants like Marty Walsh and Charlie Baker, who have never owned a business before, shut down their livelihoods in order to appease the coronabros. And he does it in the most guido way possible.
“We’ll close the gyms, once you close Home Depot, Walmahht, Tahhget. We got thousands of people who go at the same time, and not get COVID, you stupid mothah f***ing twisted f***s. But then again at the gym you’re gonna die. Tell us, justify what you’re f***ing trying to say, you f***ing flap jack mother f***ers.”
God bless this man.
The best part about his restaurant is that you have to be a grizzled anti-lockdown hardo who looks like they took a wrong turn in Bergen County, New Jersey to work there. Once you turn 45 the men must shave your heads, but until then they can rock the blowout or the man-bun. Christian recently announced that he’s running for governor, and he has some great plans for the future.
“Well basically it’s gonna be 180 degrees from what the old governor did. We’re out to help small businesses. There’s gonna be no more curfew, no more f***ing masks, people are gonna be able to go out and about do whatever they wanna do, back to normal. So whatever he did, I’m doing the opposite.”
What about the rules and regulations for restaurants?
“Six feet apart? Stick it up your sister’s ass sideways. Masks when you’re eating? Throw them out the window. You wanna sit with 35 people? Sit with 35 people.”
What about the holidays?
“Everybody’s gonna come together, sing your balls off. You can do whatever the f*** you want in any establishment you want.”
There is no amount of money I wouldn’t pay to watch this man debate Charlie Parker.
I would vote for any politician in any party that had the phrase “stick it up your sister’s ass sideways” in their platform.
Silvestri was furious when he found out about the new COVID restaurant regulations, which say that you can’t eat dinner for more than 90 minutes and must wear a mask while ordering food and between bites.
“God f***ing forbid you go to a restaurant, and you have to have f***ing 5 people in there, and that’s it. And now the mask mandate, you have to keep the mask the whole time while you’re sitting down? GO. F***. YOURSELF!!! It ain’t happening!! 90 minutes per party? It ain’t happening!!!! Sit with only family? It ain’t happening!!!”
You f***ing suck!! You understand? You suck!! And you’re f***ing people up!!
Does this look like a man who has any intention of allowing the government to close or regulate his business over a virus with a 99.9% recovery rate?
GO. F***. YOURSELF!!! It ain’t happening!!
Look, you can laugh at this guy and find him amusing all you want, but the fact of the matter is that if other restaurant owners did what he was doing the government would quickly realize how powerless they are. If the government tells you to close your business just ignore them. They have no authority to do that and they’ve passed no laws ordering you to do so. Your right to make a living doesn’t stop because some Karens demand that you do in order to “save lives.” Businesses who cower should be shamed, and quite frankly they should be afraid of the consequences for doing so. Anyone who’s not part of the resistance at this point is a scab, and we will remember who you are when this dark period in American history is over. Your life as a business owner is important too, and you are a free person living in a free country, so stop being a coward and start being free.
P.S. I really want to get this guy on the live show. I’ve reached out to him but we’re not Facebook friends so he probably can’t see the message. Feel free to comment on his Facebook page and tell him to come on tonight or Thursday.
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