Law and Order

Proud Mother And Southbridge Trio Defend Themselves After Getting Arrested Inside Police Station While Attempting To Report Stolen Safe

 

In Southbridge last week three local guttermuppets showed up in the lobby of the police station and decided to pick a fight with the the police, which is always a smart thing to do, and shockingly they ended up getting arrested.

You guys bored? Yea, me too. Anyone wanna go to the police station and get arrested or something? Could be fun. Not like we have anything else to do today.

Congratulations on being the only girl in Southbridge to reach the age of 19 without reproducing!

What a crew this is. If you chopped off Tiana Velez’s ears you could actually have a really nice cornhole set for your backyard.

Emily Degray is hard to miss with the Cruella De Vil haircut and the gloryhole tattooed in the middle of her neck.

And it wouldn’t be a Southbridge mug shot lineup if someone arrested wasn’t rocking the pubestache.

Who wore it better?

Everybody knows that you’re not really innocent unless you show up in the comments underneath your mugshot on a police department Facebook post to let the world know that you dindu nuffin, which is why they decided to do just that, and as a special treat they brought Mom with them!

So your house was broken into at 4:30 in the morning, they stole a safe, you called the cops, they told you to come down to the station to file a report, this made you angry because you were high out of your mind, you wiled out in the station, got arrested, got a free picture taken, and now you’re big mad?

That clears things up.

Interesting that someone would target this random girl at 4:30 in the morning though, knowing she had a safe with cash in it. Gee whiz, I wonder what got that money from?

It’s not like she hangs around with seedy looking wegroes or sells pot.

No way. She just works 60 hours a week.

At her home tattoo shop where she serves as head kitchen magician.

If you’re looking for a tramp stamp with a side of tetanus, call up Vicky Visine here.

Totally not a hoodrat though.

It’s ratchet enough the criminals show up underneath their mugshots to defend their honor and unsuccessfully attempt to convince strangers that the police are defaming them. But when the ratchet’s parents show up you have to upgrade the popcorn size because you’ll get lost in a thread like this.

Besides that one most recent incident where her daughter was arrested in the most hilarious fashion possible, then got publicly shamed and ended up on TB, Stef Shocik’s daughter has brought her nothing but pride and joy to her life.

Emmy Earlobe didn’t really deny that she did anything wrong, instead she wrote a ratchet manifesto about how the real bad guys were the people laughing at her for getting arrested inside a police station.

First of all, you definitely do drugs. Secondly, I will judge a book by its cover when you live in Southbridge, look stoned in every picture you take, get a door knocker installed in your nose, occasionally turn your hair purple, and have a hole in your ear so wide that even Missin Scott Sisson could kick a field goal through it.

Oh, and she’s a CNA.

I already know everything I need to know about this person.

I wasn’t there that day, but it seems to me that a gypsy tattoo doodler, a stoned CNA, and Pedro Pubestache probably went to the police station after they were targeted and robbed for their safe with the drug money in it, they didn’t like the questions they were asked, freaked out, made a scene, wouldn’t leave, yelled at the cops for not “doing their job,” and got their locked up. Case closed.

 

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. If you like what we do and want to support free speech feel free to hit the donation button. Or just buy this award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 

 

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonetization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the Donation button above if you'd like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy:  Qries