Law and Order

Serial Natick Pooper Arrested For Defecating Outside Business 8 Times Is Respected Ashland Mother, Local Women Blame Trump For News Coverage  

 

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Metrowest Daily News: At least eight times since early December, the owner of the Natick Outdoor Store made an unpleasant discovery when he arrived at work – a pile of human feces. On Wednesday, Natick Police arrested Andrea F. Grocer, 51, of Ashland, in the parking lot of the store at 38 North Ave. where they found her getting ready to use it as a toilet once again, authorities said.

“I’m so happy they arrested her,” said Natick Outdoor Store owner Henry Kanner. “I have no idea who she is. This has been ongoing. She has defecated quite often over here. There’s nothing more disgusting coming into your parking lot in the morning and seeing a pile of human excrement.”

Grocer’s lawyer described her as a “pillar of the community” and said she works full time, during her arraignment in Natick District Court on Wednesday. Police spokeswoman Lt. Cara Rossi said police began investigating the incidents last month after Kanner reported repeatedly finding the feces in his parking lot.

“At first, they thought it was an animal but then they noticed toilet paper and other wipes – items animals would not have access to,” Rossi said.

The incidents were caught on camera, but the vehicle’s license plate hadn’t been captured in the scene. Rossi said police had been doing extra patrols at the store in an effort to identify the excrement vandal. They caught Grocer in the parking lot at 6:51 a.m., police said. Both Rossi and Kanner said they have no idea why Grocer would defecate in the lot. Kanner said he does not know her and does not know of any connection to him or his store.

“I can’t figure out why anyone would do that,” Kanner said.

I could tell just by looking at her that this woman takes some massive dumps.

 

It’s always the ones you least suspect who dump the most.

The worst part is that people say she comes from a home with four bathrooms in it. This was clearly a revenge dumping if I’ve ever seen one. It was premeditated and intentional, and the fact that she left her poo rags behind tells you that she wanted her victims to know that it was a human being that did it.

If you want to get revenge on someone you egg their house. If you want to send a message that your life is going to be a living Hell for the foreseeable future, you periodically drop off fresh keester goblins in a person’s parking lot. They’ll get the message real quick. Even though in this case she appears to have left her browneye surprise on the wrong man’s property, because the owner doesn’t know who she is.

Obviously this is hilarious. It’s not every day a mother of five who happens to be a respected member of the community gets charged with such a crappy crime. But most people are more upset with the Metrowest Daily News for writing about it than they are with fudge dragon Felicia for leaving behind stink pickles eight different times.

“Is this a conservative news source.”

“A Trump society.”

Oh right, I forgot about San Francisco. The left has gone so insane that they’ve normalized public defecation. Here I was thinking that reporting on criminals who defecate on other people’s property several times over the course of months was a politically neutral thing to do. But apparently in Natick it makes you a MAGA loving right wing nutjob.

The irony here is that the only reason all these Metrowest white woman are all up in arms is because for once of their own people got publicly shamed. I don’t remember seeing any of these women complaining about “compassion” or “mental issues,” when Diego the friendly neighborhood drug dealer got popped with an ounce of heroin. These are the white people who get off on calling other people racist, but yet the second they see a well off white woman committing a crime it’s immediately “mental illness.” Sounds a little bit racist.

Where’s the evidence this woman was mentally ill? Do any of these people know this woman? Or are they all just assuming that because she looks like the women in their yoga class that she’s incapable of committing a crime unless she’s “mentally ill?” Andrea Grocer owns a business and has raised five children. She obviously had her crap together. This was an intentional, premeditated act of targeted poopery that has no place in a civilized society. Someone could’ve gotten seriously hurt, or even worse – ruined a new pair of shoes. Didn’t think about that one did ya Becky’s?

 

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