UMass Student Newspaper Reporters Stalk And Spy On Drunk Girls To Get Frat Parties Shut Down, Report COVID Violations To Tyrant Administrator Making $300K A Year


WHDHAfter Amherst police on Saturday were called to break up a crowd of about 200 mostly unmasked students, officials at UMass Amherst plan to issue interim suspensions to students who were involved in what they’re describing as an “egregious violation of university policy.” On-campus students who attended the party will also be subject to an interim housing restriction, which requires moving out of dorms, because “they pose an immediate health risk to other residents,” vice chancellor for student affairs and campus life Brandi Hephner LaBanc wrote in a message to students and families.

“It has become clear that a relatively small but highly visible subsection of the student population in the Amherst area feels entitled to break the agreed-upon policies and rules so they can party, with no regard for the health and safety of their peers,” she wrote. “This selfish and disrespectful attitude contributes to the spread of the virus and puts all of us at risk.”

The email said that this and similar public health policy violations “will be dealt with swiftly and effectively so those of you abiding by the rules can enjoy more university privileges” and described the events as “actions of these haughty few” that “are not representative of the larger student population who consistently demonstrate their commitment to public safety.”

As of Monday, there were 205 active COVID-19 cases at UMass Amherst, and the school had identified a total of 2,146 positive cases since its asymptomatic testing program began on Aug. 6, 2020.

Oh no, college kids partying!! Whatever will we do? They could be spreading a virus that has almost a 0.0% chance of killing or hospitalizing any of them.

Parties like this at UMass have been going on since the beginning of time. There’s a much greater chance that someone at these parties would die from alcohol poisoning, drinking and driving, or being slammed through a table. But God forbid one of those kids spread COVID. They could get the sniffles!

Question – if 200 person parties are banned due to to the fact that diseases could spread at social gatherings, then why did the University ever allow 200 person parties to begin with? COVID isn’t the only disease that has ever existed. The goal for 95% of people who attend parties at UMass is to become sufficiently plastered so as to rub genitals with a complete stranger at the conclusion of the night. None of these people ever wear condoms (obviously) and they’re likely spreading Hep-C and syphilis like wild fire.

Yet not once did the University say, “we can’t let you party anymore because you could get drunk, engage in gland to gland combat with a stranger, spread AIDS, and AIDS kills people.” Which is more dangerous to a 19 year old – AIDS or COVID?

Also, have they outlawed boning at UMass? How is it within the rules to stick your tongue down a stranger’s throat and toss your cervix scraper in the ol’ meat wallet, but you can’t drink a beer around other human beings? These same people could go to a bar in Amherst and drink without masks on, but they can’t do it in their own homes with friends. Yes, this is all very scientific.

This is UMass Vice Chancellor of Student Affairs Brandi Hephner LaBanc.

She looks like fun.

Brandi makes over $300K a year in taxpayer money to do this job.

She hasn’t missed a paycheck and when she attended college there were no adults telling her she’d be kicked off campus if she went to a party. But now she’s “at risk” because college students partied so the fun is cancelled.

You can’t stop college kids from drinking, and it’s un-American to even try. Yet the Daily Collegian, UMass’ student run newspaper, acts as a virtual snitch factory for these overpaid administrative hacks. Two weeks ago they did an investigative story about college kids living their lives during this “pandemic” instead of hiding in fear from a virus that couldn’t possibly hurt them. This is Matt Berg, the toolbag who wrote the story.

As you can see, he’s never been invited to a party in his life. He and his team of reporters went out on a Saturday night, not to party, but to spy on other students who choose not to live in fear.

On Saturday night, reporters walking around campus and the Nutting Avenue and Phillips Street area — known for its abundance of fraternity and sorority houses — observed gatherings at the fraternities and had brief exchanges with those who attended. Several comments were given in passing to the reporters. Throughout the night, dozens of students, many not wearing masks, were seen walking through the neighborhood. One person asked for directions to Alpha Sigma Phi and another young woman without a mask asked reporters which gathering they were going to. 

Imagine spending your Saturday night stalking 19 year olds to make sure they’re not having fun and then thinking that the real disease is COVID?

Loud music could be heard coming from Alpha Sigma Phi, which sits on the corner of North Pleasant Street and Fearing Street. Reporters also observed a heavy police presence outside the house. A member in sorority leadership who lives in the neighborhood heard the music playing throughout Saturday night and called the police. Large gatherings at Alpha Sigma Phi have been frequent this semester, she said.

“I can hear them every weekend,” she said. “On Thursday, Fridays and Saturdays, you can hear the bass beating, you can hear ‘Mo Bamba.’”

On numerous occasions, she has seen crowds of people entering and leaving the house, she said. “Some of them have girlfriends, but not that many girlfriends.”

It’s OK for girls to go in a frat house as long as their boyfriends are inside. COVID doesn’t spread between people who have been dating for 3 weeks. Science.

A member of Alpha Sigma Phi invited an SGA senator to in-person recruitment events on Friday and Tuesday, promoting “wine bag races” and “Taco Tuesday with margaritas,” according to a picture of a Snapchat message provided by the senator. The senator reported the invitation to the Dean of Students Office but only received an automated response in return, he said. Fraternities are not allowed to host in-person rush events due to COVID-19 restrictions.

“When this information fell into my lap, it was a tough position. But I felt the need to prevent a [potential] super-spreader event,” the senator said. “Nobody likes being the person to report it. But in reality, someone has to do it.”

This anonymous “senator” went undercover into a frat, pretended to want to join it, found out when their rush events were, and then narced on them like the toolbag that he is. Journalism.

On Friday night, another freshman and her friends counted 15 young women they saw on social media at the Alpha Sigma Phi house, she said. A timestamped screenshot provided to the Daily Collegian shows two young women, who live in a dorm in Orchard Hill Residential Area, posing in front of a composite of Alpha Sigma Phi brothers. One of the young women in the photo did not respond to a request for comment. The other could not be identified.

“It’s frustrating and also just terrifying,” the freshman said. “My friends and I can do everything to be safe, but there’s people who live above us who aren’t even following guidelines… and they’re not being quiet about it.”

This is what “terrifying” looks like now.

Two girls in a frat house. If you’re that terrified of 2 girls from your dorm going to a party then you can stay home and learn remotely. The world doesn’t stop because you’re a delusional coward.

The Daily Collegian reporters also sat outside another frat house and spied on drunk girls trying to go back to their dorms.

On Saturday night, Phi Sigma Kappa hosted a gathering further down North Pleasant Street. Reporters saw groups of several students entering and leaving the front and back doors of the house around midnight; the latter was watched by two men throughout the night.  A Daily Collegian reporter who was near the house was followed by one of the men for several minutes while leaving the area. Igor De Sousa-Vieira, president of Phi Sigma Kappa, said a gathering had been held at the house Saturday night, but he claimed it did not break COVID-19 restrictions set by the fraternity, state, town or University.

But shortly after midnight, Daily Collegian reporters counted 16 people — who mostly appeared to be young women — leaving the fraternity house and heading toward the Central or Southwest Residential Areas. Many of the students were not wearing masks. Four students who left told reporters they had been at Phi Sigma Kappa. When asked for comment on the fraternity hosting a gathering during the University’s self-sequester period, De Sousa-Vieira said, “There was no gathering before or during the self-sequester period.” However, the sign-up form provided shows that people registered for the gathering Saturday night — two days before the self-sequester period ended — and reporters observed the gathering as it was happening.

16 people? And none of them were wearing masks? Stop the fight! How did they ever find a way to socially distance themselves in a house this big?

There are so many worse diseases that run through Phi Sigma Kappa on a daily basis than COVID. Drug addiction, alcoholism, crabs, you name it. And don’t even think about showering downstairs without sandals on unless you’d like grow a 6th toe. I would know, I used to live there back in my meathead blowout jello wrestling days.

It’s OK because the guy on the right is State Rep Ted Philips.

This would never happen under his watch.

Both frats have been shut down now I guess, thanks to this loser.

COVID is the best thing that has ever happened to chodes like this because it gives them an excuse to spy on and talk to drunk girls without getting a restraining order, while feeling powerful for the first time in their pathetic lives. They should be mocked and ridiculed, because they are horrible, science denying conspiracy theorists.


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Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonetization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the Donation button above if you'd like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy:  Qries

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