Law and Order

Victim Of Warwick Car Theft Gets In Facebook Dispute With Entire Family Of Jheri Curled Man Who Robbed His Car With Teen Larceny Gang

 

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NBCA 19-year-old man and three juveniles have been arrested for breaking into cars in Warwick and stealing “thousands” in merchandise. Police told NBC 10 News that Austin Duarte, of Foster, along with the trio of minors, whose ages range from 15 to 17, were charged with felony receiving stolen goods and conspiracy. Authorities said they received a call from a resident around 2:20 a.m. who reported seeing four people breaking into cars on Norwood Avenue.

“This resident was watching them walk around the area looking into cars and shining lights inside of them,” police told NBC 10 in an email. “The caller even saw them carrying items back to their vehicle that was parked nearby and place items inside of the trunk.”

Police took a description of the car and later stopped it nearly on Elmwood Avenue in Cranston. Not only did police find the four suspects, they discovered at least 14 items that they believed were stolen. Items ranged from laptops, iPads, digital recorders, a Sony camera, photography accessories, plus three pair of Nike basketball sneakers, an amplifier, two welding machines, a drill, sunglasses, and a car stereo system. Police said while the total value is unknown at this point, they estimate “it is in the thousands.”

You know you’ve got life by the balls when your criminal enterprise is you and a bunch of 15 year olds stealing iPads out of cars in War-wack at 2 in the morning. Someday, if he can sell enough stolen Jordan’s on Craigs List, he’ll be able to do something about the briar patch growing on his head, which no doubt is filled with corn starch, Goya products, and broken dreams. But you wouldn’t know that by looking at Grand Theft Mulatto’s Facebook page. He always keeps it 100.

Young n word is on a mission to always have change for a $20, and a bag of mediocre weed resting on his crotch. As can be seen from his glamour shots, and his tough guy demeanor of always throwing the middle finger or unidentified gang signs up when he doesn’t have a wad of $5 bills to display, his hard work is paying dividends.

You know that you’re basically Scarface when you’re posing on top of coin operated washing machines in the basement of project housing.

Or on the trash covered stairway leading up to a slumlord’s Section 8 apartment where Diego the friendly neighborhood crack dealer is diluting his product because junkies can’t call consumer affairs.

So much winning.

Things got really interesting on Austin’s Facebook page on a post he made prior to the big heist in War-Wack.

🦍🦍

Posted by Austin Duarte on Sunday, October 11, 2020

It began when someone showed up and called him out for allegedly being a “pussy ass wankster 100 emoji smokin on beasters probably too” after running away from a man carrying an AR-15.

This is a very serious charge in Austin’s community, and one that cannot be allowed to slide. At the time he was in jail so he could not reply, but his sperm donor Jason Cardoso was there to defend his son’s honor.

The quest to determine who is the biggest hardo in Rhode Island never ends. There are just too many contenders. All I know is, no one’s messing with Jason Cardoso.

Nobody. He drives trucks now, but at any moment he can get old school and rob a CVS at knifepoint for $135.

Attorney General Peter F. Kilmartin announced that on Friday, a Providence County Superior Court jury found Jason Cardoso (age 34) of North Providence guilty of first degree robbery. The jury returned the verdict after less than one hour after a four-day trial presided over by Superior Court Justice Luis Matos. During the course of the trial, the State proved that on June 26, 2013, at approximately 6:00 p.m. Cardoso robbed the cashier of a CVS store located at 1919 Mineral Spring Avenue in North Providence using a knife, stealing $135.

And based on Daddy Dope Fiend’s extensive display of Google trophies that include arrests for possession of drugs in a school zone, being a fugitive from justice, and driving under the influence, his son is in line to take over the family business.

In fairness, these sorts of crimes are actually signs of improvement, because back in the day he was more into domestic assault, felony assault with a dangerous weapon, and drug dealing.

Oh, and he’s been sued by multiple health insurance companies and healthcare providers.

Additionally, he has appeared in court with what appears to be Grand Theft Mulatto’s mother, who had him paternity tested.

Kim Duarte is another great role model for her son, and totally does not look like the girl that you have to run train on in order to get initiated into the neighborhood iPad theft gang.

Not at all. And yes, I am as confused as you are about how two white people could produce what appears to be a Puerto Rican Lonzo Ball. It’s better if you just don’t ask any questions.

This Bukkake Banjo has her priorities in line for her son.

You can call her son a thief, a degenerate, a drug dealer, or point out that he clearly has never been introduced to conditioner. But don’t you dare accuse him of being female genitals.

It should be pointed out that this clan of hoodrats lives in Foster, RI, which is basically an extension of the Appalachian style living that occurs in neighboring eastern Connecticut. Some may argue that you can’t be a gangsta if you live in a place that doesn’t have Wifi, but Austin has an iPhone and knows how to get to Waraq, so things are about to change in Foster.

In this tale the victim turned out to be just as ratchet as the ratchet who robbed him. That would be Joshua Hall from Conventry (originally from the mean streets of Jewett City, CT). 

As you can tell from the chinstrap and flat brimmed hat, he is the wrong n word to trifle with. First thing he had to do was establish his street cred with Mom and Dad.

“I’ve done more bids than b***es u f***ed” might be top 5 ratchet lines of all time, but it’s still disputed by Daddy Dope Fiend.

And although the Coventry Corn Donkey is a self described “quite boy” from the boonies, he once lived in Hartford so he’s the last person Grand Theft Mulatto wanted to rob.

He’s not just a regular gangsta either. He has a college degree, avoids using the letter W qhenever possible, and you would know if this were Connecticut because no one messes with him there due to his massive bank account.

He’s also lost just one fight and played D1 football.

Jason Cardoso was unimpressed by the Josh’s selfie skills.

But Josh works 2 jobs, has a 6 figure bank account, and is “heavily in stocks,” so at the end of the day he wins.

Next time you take his cell phone charger out of the 98 Civic it’s not going to end well for you!

The only person in the fam who hadn’t defended Grand Theft Auto’s honor at this point was his sister, who of course is named Jade. And like 99% of girls named after minerals or seasons, Jade’s life goals are to become a stripper and bare a male child out of wedlock who she will refer to as “my King.”

Jade had a lot to say.

Finally Austin got bailed out and showed up to join the fun himself.

Little did he know that he was messing with a D1 safety who owns 13 shotguns.

Two things are certain to come out of this:

  1. Grand Theft Mulatto will think twice before breaking into cars in War-wack again
  2. At some point in the not so distant future Daddy Dope Fiend and Grand Theft Mulatto will be the first father son duo out of Fosters to share a jail cell.

 

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