Politics

Why I’m Voting For Joe Biden Today And All Trump Supporters Should Join Me

 

My goal for voting in the Super Tuesday primary has always been to help put forward the candidate who had the least chance of beating Donald Trump. As a registered independent who is anything but independent, I am afforded the right to sabotage the other party’s primary by voting for their worst candidate in order to help my guy. Since Trump will win the Republican nomination there’s no point in voting for him. Thus my goal is to vote for the worst viable candidate for the democrats. Now that Mayor Pete and Amy K are gone that leaves four candidates – Pocahontas, Mini Mike, Sleepy Joe, and Crazy Bernie. I rank their chances against Trump in this order:

  1. Bloomberg
  2. Bernie
  3. Biden
  4. Pocahontas

Personally I think they’d all lose, but you still have to play the odds. Most people would rank Biden above Bernie in electability, but I think they’re underestimating how insanely selfish Bernie voters are. These are losers who want everything for free, and when they don’t get their way they take their ball and go home. If Bernie gets screwed out of the nomination then they will burn things, but they won’t show up to vote for whoever the candidate is. If Bernie wins then all of the other candidate’s supporters will reluctantly vote for a crazed communist. We want the candidate who inspires the least amount of democrats to show up on election day. It’s how Trump won in 2016.

I always said I was going to vote for Pocahontas because I thought Trump would handle her easily, but the fact of the matter is she has a 0.0% chance of winning. According to the Vegas lines she has less than a 1% chance of winning in most states. She is a comfortable underdog in Massachusetts, the only state where her odds are greater than 10% at winning. She currently has worse odds at winning than Hillary Clinton, and no that is not a joke. Voting for her is a waste of time, as is voting for Bloomberg since there isn’t a state that is remotely in play for him winning today.

That leaves two geriatric old white men for the party of diversity – Biden and Bernie. Biden has now become the slight favorite after winning South Carolina and the DNC forcing Mayor Pete and Amy K to drop out and support him. Meanwhile, Pocahontas is a self-absorbed narcissist so she’s staying in to siphon the crazy vote away from Bernie.

That’s why I’m voting for Joe Biden. I think he’s a weaker candidate than the Havana Hurricane, and if by some act of God a democrat wins I think he’d be far less dangerous. You can always count on him saying things like this every day that Trump will capitalize on:

“You know, the thing.”

There’s so much more where that came from. Joe Biden inspires no one. Bernie inspires millions of morons. I’m voting for Biden because it’s what’s best for Donald Trump’s chances and encourage you to do the same.

 

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