Woman Known As “Granny McStickyfingers” Robs Non-Profit Consignment Shop In Bourne After Prior Sexual Harassment Of Owner And Her Wife


A Cape Cod boutique owner whose shop operates as some sort of non-profit was the victim of theft a few days ago.

Does that face look familiar? How bout now?

That would Mary Gellsthorpe, commonly known as “Granny McStickyfingers” to the award winning journalists over at Turtleboy Sports. She was identified by the website after stealing tips from the Lobster Trap Restaurant in Bourne, was ordered to show up for court, never did, and had that legendary Something About Mary mugshot taken by the BPD.

Don’t let the pictures fool you.

This woman is a menace.

Although I have to admit, Uncle Leo’s character on Seinfeld has forever made the concept of elderly people stealing from stores humorous to me. But no matter how old this woman is, she’s clearly gets a thrill from stealing from people, and that’s no laughing matter. If she can’t stop then should go to jail, no matter how old she is. She doesn’t strike me as the kind of woman who would mind prison anyway.

But there’s a twist this time around. According to a source she was ID’d by the senior center she’s now living at, and as luck would have it our sources tell us that the owner of the store had previous run-ins with Granny McStickyfingers in the past. The owner ended up getting a protective order because there’s accusations of that Granny McStickyfingers sexually harassed both her and her wife. Who knew that the Cape Cod Canal was an extension of the lady’s pond? Also, I’m told that the owner’s pregnant too, so this is totally what a someone with a baby inside of them wants to deal with right now.

To my knowledge she hasn’t been arrested yet, but if she’s summonsed I’d be the King’s gold that she’s not showing up anyway. Until then, keep your personal items close to you if you see this diabolical criminal walking the mean streets of Cape Cod.


Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:

Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 



Related Articles


Ad Free Turtleboy + TBDAILYNEWS

Ad Free Turtleboy

Ad Free Turtleboy
$10.00 / month