Voting is completed in round 1 of the Irish Poverty Face Region and the following 8 ratchets have advanced to the second round.

Some major upsets already with 5 out of the 8 matchups going to the lower seeded ratchet. But that’s why they call it Ratchet Madness folks! You never know what’s gonna happen.

Onto the Ham Sandwich Region. You have 24 hours to vote for the next 8 ratchets who should advance to the field of 32.

 

 

1. Krusty Panties vs. 16. John Connolly

1. Krusty Panties – had her kids taken by the State but lectures FKR about being bad parents, convicted criminal still facing multiple charges, eats, breathes, and sleeps Turtleboy 24/7

16. John Connolly – resembles an overcooked burrito that’s about to explode, voted off the Select Board after calling taxpayers “random f***ing citizens” on hot mic

 

 

 

8. Tara Kerrigan vs. 9. Kevin Albert

8. Tara Kerrigan – Swim fan level obsession with dead guy she dated 20 years ago, wears John O’Keefe’s badge number on chain but completely ignores all evidence showing who murdered him

9. Kevin Albert – likes to get drunk and leave his badge and gun in Michael Proctor’s cop car, helped his family cover up the murder of a Boston Police Officer

 

 

 

4. Kelly Dever vs. 13. Grant Smith-Ellis

4. Kelly Dever – permanently stuck with resting bitch face, lied about having a false memory after being told to do the right thing BPD Commissioner, laid on the cuntiness heavy to help convince jurors she wasn’t believable

13. Grant Smith-Ellis – mentally deranged spawn of Wendy Murphy, likely a virgin who is madly in love with psychotic single mom whore who has permanently put him in the friend zone, almost got sent to jail for secretly recording a RO hearing, banned from attending Karen Read trial for assaulting a female reporter

 

 

 

5. Kerry Roberts vs. 12. Sullivan Sluts

5. Kerry Roberts – admitted that she lied to grand jury about Karen Read’s statements, made a fool of herself on national television by showing everyone that she was easily manipulated by Jennifer McCabe

12. Sullivan Sluts – still salty over Karen Read getting mad that younger slut tried smooching with her man, older slut got knocked up by John O’Keefe’s married partner who killed himself shortly thereafter

 

 

 

3. Bukkake vs. 14. Sam Nagel

3. Bukkake – came across as pompous douche on the stand, pretended not to speak English, spent 8-10 months traveling around the state harassing women over rubber ducks, testified that he was scared of Turtleboy after being called “Bukkake loser”

14. Sam Nagel – sexually aggressive drunken younger brother of the Bagel, likes to touch random women and yell “looossaaahh” thus guaranteeing he will never leave Canton

 

 

 

6. Jud Welcher vs. 11. Nicholas Guarino

6. Jud Welcher – arrogant douchebag who got paid $400K to paint himself blue, testimony was so embarrassing that Hank Brennan didn’t call him back or reference his testing during closing

11. Nicholas Guarino – said that iPhone watches show you going up 3 flights of stairs while driving on flat roads, covered for Matthew Farwell and Jennifer McCabe by hiding deleted text messages

 

 

 

7. John Depetro vs. 10. Julie Albert

7. John Depetro – called the cops on Turtleboy for interrupting his broadcast, butt buddy of the McAlberts and Hank Brennan who spent all day lying about juror reactions in court

10. Julie Albert – said Bukkake twice on national television, looks to be at least 70 years old, had her credit cards declined at grocery store and had to return items to shelves, offered Michael Proctor a gift for not investigating her son

 

 

2. Brian Higgins vs. 15. David Dicicco

2. Brian Higgins – decorated dude who calls into random YouTube shows pretending to be Kevin from South Boston in order to defend his honor, couldn’t seal the deal with a woman who was throwing herself at him, helped cover up his involvement in the murder of John O’Keefe by lying about butt dials and acting shady at Canton Police Department at 1:30 AM

15. David Dicicco – mocked Michael Proctor for not being able to manipulate the medical examiner, said “fuck her, bitch” after finding out that Karen Read said she was innocent, got re-homed to Holden by State Police