Ratchet Madness 2025 Round 1: Normal Moms Region

 

Voting is completed in round 1 of the Ham Sandwich Region and the following 8 ratchets have advanced to the second round.

All of the higher seeded ratchets have advanced and none of them were very close. That may change next round as the Dever-Kerry Roberts matchup and others will be tougher.

Onto the Normal Moms Region. You have 24 hours to vote for the next 8 ratchets who should advance to the field of 32.

 

 

1. Michael Proctor vs. 16. Megabeth

1. Michael Proctor – covered up the murder of a cop, was forced to read humiliating messages that made him look like a douchebag on national television, got fired and forced to wear ridiculous sunglasses to court

16. Megabeth – made herself the face of the O’Keefe family on Dateline but stopped showing up to court after finding out Paul O’Keefe was cheating on her sister, took up the entire bench on court days

 

 

 

8. Ken Mello vs. 9. Helena Rafferty

8. Ken Mello – deadbeat Dad and failed attorney who pretended to be dying to avoid losing to Turtleboy in court, misspelled “office” on his own website

9. Helena Rafferty – lost her mind over rumor she was getting nailed by Berky, tried to hide a hit and run on an elderly man, helped cover up corruption at Canton Police Department for years

 

 

 

 

4. Julie Nagel vs. 13. Jack Lu

4. Julie Nagel – lied about seeing a 6 foot black blob on Brian Albert’s lawn that she never reported to police, claims to be a victim but harassed Turtleboy and Meredith during assault outside CF McCarthy’s

13. Jack Lu – banned from two major news networks for saying insane shit about Proctor being a good guy, went on several day Twitter ran accusing Turtleboy of running RICO gang before his kids made him deactivate

 

 

 

5. Shanon Burgess vs. 12. Julie Carpenter

5. Shanon Burgess – lied about being a college graduate from several schools and majoring in majors that don’t exist, says he’s been in college for 17 years, has the worst haircut and facial hair combo of all time

12. Julie Carpenter – sits at home in Indiana drinking wine and pretending to be outraged all day about people she’ll never meet in real life, pretended to be her son on July 4th and told me to be nice to his mother and then claimed I ruined her 4th of July

 

 

 

 

3. Auntie Bev vs. 14. Gretchen Voss

3. Auntie Bev – redefined the word “cunt” on national television every day, couldn’t even attempt to hide her bias and disdain for Karen Read defense team, doesn’t like working past 3 and has grave concerns about things that don’t matter while giving zero fucks about things that do matter

14. Gretchen Voss – failed “journalist” who may or may not have done mushrooms with Krusty, got bribed to do a McAlbert hit piece by David Traub who took her out for a burger date

 

 

 

6. Coffindoofus vs. 11. M. William Phelps

6. Coffindoofus – disgraced FBI DEI hire who whores herself on national television making a fool of herself and setting back women’s rights for decades, doesn’t understand the first thing about the law or anything really but pretends to be an expert on everything

11. M. William Phelps – failed podcaster who turned pro-TB podcast into anti-TB hit piece because he got mad I wouldn’t do all the work for him, claims to be a top true crime podcaster but couldn’t crack the top 200 and was only listened to by trolls

 

 

 

 

7. Natalie the German vs. 10. Boundless Millennial

7. Natalie the German – flipped on Karen Read because Karen asked for space and didn’t wanna be her BFFL and I wouldn’t tell Karen to be nicer to her, was granted immunity from Tully and Mello despite committing no crimes simply because she thought it would be cool to tell people she got immunity

10. Boundless Millennial – homosexual Tik Tok deviant who said horrific things about juror Paula Prado’s children during mental breakdown from acquittal

 

 

 

 

2. Brian Albert vs. 15. Matt Valentinas

2. Brian Albert – claims he didn’t go out to help John O’Keefe because he was in his underpants and was a Boston cop, not a Canton cop, major player in the murder and coverup of John O’Keefe, was only concerned about covering his ass in the days after the murder

15. Matt Valentinas – failed attorney and manager who is madly in love with low rated podcaster M. William Phelps and exists to try to get him work